Page 42 of Impacted by Love

Bitch, he's been 'bout it, I mean Asaiah, 'bout it, 'bout it.

"What does my age have to do with this conversation?" Roy's forehead wrinkles, and a frown slides into place.

"I need sweet baby to understand the hashtag your family will add to their social media RIP posts about you. So again, what will your forever number be?" Asaiah asks in a deadpan timbre that leaves my mouth gaping.

Onesti, you've activated Asaiah's crazy. Please find a way to reel him in.

Oh no, honey. We love a man with a big dick and significant aggression to match. Go off, Asaiah, baby.

After seeing Asaiah's nostrils flaring and hands balling into fists, I mentally nod in agreement with the first statement.

Chile, that's the consequence of good, addictive pussy and affirmations. You gotta ease men into that, girl.

Not to mention, Asaiah hasn't been loved right before now, so he's trying to mark his territory.

Hold up, heffa. What happened to you being the Kumbaya peacemaker? Don't try to slide into darkness with me.

"I think you have misunderstood what this is between Onesti and me. I've al?—"

"I'll make you choke on twenty-five of your yellowing meat choppers if you finish that statement," Asaiah warns.

"Uh, gentleman, I hate to interrupt, but this isn't the place for all this testosterone," I interject before Roy can respond.

"About you, I'll rearrange this man's face and then fuck the memory of this moment from your mind, sweet baby. Again, tell little bro to move the fuck around," Asaiah repeats deadpan.

Maybe I should have consulted with the good angel before letting this man between my legs.

* * *

"I have been trying to stop myself from going and lying on the headstone, but grief propels me into a deep place of loneliness that being next to my Greta is all I can do," one of the survivors shares, causing my chest to tighten from the brokenness within his words.

This is my first time attending a meeting since Asaiah and I have been together because I've been using my spare time to build what we have. No matter how often I come or the time between my attendance, my heart goes out to the people who show up. I understand what the widower is saying because I had Jarielle riding with me to visit her grave for six months after my grandmother passed.

"One day, I had an unplanned sleepover at the cemetery. I had been drinking all day and anger had me getting in my car with a bottle of Wild Irish Rose. I'm unsure how I made it there without incident, but I did. For every drink I took, I shared the same amount with Greta while cussing her out for leaving me. Somewhere between pissing on her headstone and falling in the grass, I fell asleep. It's only by the grace of God that I didn't take my life that day or the one after it. What's worse than that is my plan on the drive to the cemetery was to do just that."

Audible weeping, gasps, and other verbal reactions surround the room when the last sentence leaves the man's mouth. A thick cloud of melancholy settles in the air when the man resumes his seat. Silence echoes like a megaphone when even the meeting leader struggles to speak.

Bzz. Bzz.

Vibrating from my phone pulls me from observing the man wiping the moisture from his face.

Asaiah:

Hey, my sweet baby. I'm out of my meeting. Can you talk?

My chest stretches, and lightness replaces the gloom I feel from the heavy atmosphere after reading Asaiah's text. Grabbing my purse and bag, I quietly vacate my seat to leave the meeting early for the first time ever. Heading to the elevator, I quickly push the button, climbing into the car when the doors open a minute later. Pushing the lobby button, I dial Asaiah's number when merriment dances in my body at hearing my man's voice.

"How are you, sweet baby? Do you miss me as much as I miss you?" Asaiah asks when the call connects after the first ring as if he's awaiting my call.

Asaiah has only been gone for a day, but I feel like it's been two months, which is crazy because I have never been this attached to a man. Roy and I were together for years, yet separation from him didn't feel like a death sentence like it does from Asaiah's absence.

"Like you wouldn't believe," I whine before the elevator jerks. "Oh crap, it's happening."

"What? Where are you?"

Before I can answer Asaiah, the elevator rattles, jerks, and stops, causing me to shake my head before pushing the emergency alarm and taking a seat.

"If you were here, I'd think this was a case of déjà vu. I was trying to leave my survivor's meeting, but the elevator's delaying my exit."

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