Page 43 of Stalked

I don’t hear if he says anything. I break out into a jog. I need to get away. I can’t be here, and I can’t be what he wants. He’s the Pakhan for the damn Mafia. That’s not me.

“For fucks sake,” I vaguely hear him curse.

Oof.

I’m hit from behind. My arms attempt to block my face from hitting the ground, but I don’t get the chance.

“Fuck,” Tobias grunts. My eyes peel open, and I hit Tobias’ intense glare, realizing he tackled me but must have twisted so he’d hit the ground and not me. “Hold on… let me catch my breath.” Tobias pants, his eyes barely open.

“You wouldn’t be out of breath if you didn’t chase me,” I growl. Placing my hands against his chest, I push off.

“Stop running away,” he hisses, snapping his eyes to me.

“I’m not running per se. I..I– well, I was just trying to get some air,” I lie. And from the death glare Tobias is shooting me, he knows I’m lying. I barely get to my feet, before Tobias is on his, hovering over me. His hands fist at his sides as if he has to physically fight himself not to reach out to me.

“Why are you running from me?” Tobias finally asks.

“I told you I’m not running,” I lie again. I’m not sure why I can’t just tell him the truth. But the idea of this all being one big joke to him… Or worse, what if he realizes I’m not enough for him? That he’d rather marry and love a girl, one that can give him children.

“Want to try telling me the truth?”

“Not really,” I whisper, closing my eyes, willing the tears to go away. I don’t deserve him; I don’t deserve any of this. Tobias has done nothingbut be kind and sweet towards me. I don’t even have a reason to be acting the way I am. It’s just that little voice inside my head.

“Gabriel Hollow, look at me when I’m fucking talking to you!” he yells.

Blinking my eyes open, a tear slips through. Cursing at my stupid self, I hate the way his eyes soften when he notices.

“Gab–”

“Don’t. Please, just don’t. I don’t deserve you being kind or sweet or any of that. Please just... Call my sister, tell her to come get me, or better yet, can you just drop me off at some bus station? I should get out of your hair, I should… I need to leave.” I know I’m rambling, not making any sense. I caught feelings, deep feelings for one that doesn’t feel the same. “Don’t say anything, just nod your head that you agree. I can’t take your rejection, not right now.”

“Will you shut up,” he hisses.

Shaking my head, I swallow my hiccups, humiliation clawing at my skin. I hate everything about this. I never should have let him continue to break into my apartment. I never should have allowed myself to get this wrapped up in him.

I don’t plan to witness him laughing at my expense. Stepping around Tobias, I don’t get two feet before his arms are wrapping around me.

“Tobias—get off me!” I growl, sounding more like a wounded kitten than anything. “Get off me. Get off me. GET OFF ME!” I chant over and over. My body shakes, tears stream down my face, and the more I stand here in his arms fighting against his hold, the more I realize I have no idea why I’m fighting against him. I’m blowing a small problem out of the water, and now that I’m here, all this fighting is going to sound dumb.

“I’m not letting you go until you’ve calmed down.”

I hiccup, trying to calm my breathing down, but I’m so worked up that my vision begins to blur, memories of Dan threatening to take me under.

“Absolutely not, you're not going back there. You’re right here with me, Little Rabbit, and you’re not going anywhere. You’re going to take a deep breath—come on, with me.”

Following through, his hand spreads across my chest, holding me still against him. He breathes in, following suit with me. Mumbling soft words to me, my eyes stay closed as he helps to calm my breathing down.

“Now tell me, what has you so worked up?” he whispers into my ear, his hand still rubbing against my chest, while the other holds me around my waist.

“It’s... it’s stupid,” I murmur, afraid that the moment I tell him, he’ll laugh and shove me away.

“Nothing inside that pretty little head is stupid. I don’t care what it is, nothing too small or too big will have me walking away from you.”

“I’m not enough for you,” I blurt out before I think much about it.

“What are you talking about?” He spins me around, his jaw ticking. The heat in his eyes makes me squirm.

“Come on, Tobias, you’re not stupid. When are you going to realize that I’m not enough? I mean your fathers going to want you to have children to carry on the legacy. Well, news flash, love, I have a dick. I can’t give you children. When are you going to realize that you’re not gay and I was just something to pass the time? You were bored, and you got the gay man to fall for you. I mean, come on Tobias, I’m not made for the hard life of the Mafia. I dealt with enough bad things growing up. I… I can’t be what you want or need.” I sigh, tears filling my eyes again. “I can’t do this, Tobias. I fell. I fell so hard that I can’t breathe without you. I can’t move without you.”

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