Page 51 of Ruined

Blake reaches over, grabbing the whiteboard from the small coffee table. I wait for her to write down what she needs to say.

Ryker can go to hell. It doesn’t matter what happened to me in the past, your job is to protect me from Antonio, nothing else.

“I want to know about your past,” I mumble.

Why? So, you can just use it against me.

Pushing my lips together, I rack my brain trying to understand why she would think I would use whatever happened in her past against her.

“Blake,” I start, only stopping when she shakes her head, holding the board out for me again. Looking over, I frown, confused why we should be getting so upset. “I’m only trying to help.”

Your only job is to protect me, not ask questions.She writes on the board, shoving it further into my face.

“I care about you.”

Blake shakes her head, her hand flying over the board. Don’t.Dropping the whiteboard, she stands, heading inside.

“Fuck.”

18

Idon’t always think before I do something. If I did, I probably wouldn’t have gotten in as much trouble as I did as a child, or as a teenager. Especially now, I know what I’m doing is a childish thing. Jace just wanted to know what happened to me before I went mute. But I’m not that same girl anymore. Just like I know Ryker is just a douchebag and doesn’t care about anyone but himself. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting them both. I loved everything Ryker did to me last night and I know that’s dangerous. I want him to cut me, to mark me. But I also loved what Jace did. He just wanted to make me cum, he wanted to make me feel something besides being used.

Which is probably why I’m destroying Ryker’s belongings. I don’t want to feel these emotions crawling around inside me, and he seems to be the only one who can make them go away.

Ryker makes me not think while Jace allows my thoughts to be a safe space. It’s wrong, but I crave it. I want everything that’s wrong with me, but I want to own it. I want scars on my body, but I want them because I begged Ryker to put them there. I want him to lick the blood off my skin and force me to do things I normally wouldn’t want to do.

Something is wrong with me. I know there is. Yet, that doesn’t stop me from ripping apart all his drawers, dragging his boxers out, and cutting holes into them. And it doesn’t stop me from pulling out one of his masks he has and shoving it into my pants.

It’s wrong. I’m wet, horny and shoving his mask in between my legs like a dog in heat. But whatever, fuck him. He can’t treat me like some whore and then act like I’m a bug beneath his feet. They might think I was spoiled, and in some way I was. But they don’t know how difficult it was growing up with a father like Dimitri. How hard it was being overlooked because I was a daughter and not a son like he wanted. He wanted another Tobias, but instead, he got a girl. Most of his guards were creepy, but that came with being in the mafia family.

So fuck them for thinking I’m nothing but some girl that was spoiled.

I can feel the pressure building inside, the orgasm reaching its peak before I slump to the side letting out a silent scream. My cum leaks onto his mask. Pulling it out from between my legs, I glance down, smiling when I take notice of the rather large wet spot.

Fuck you, Ryker.

Shoving the mask back into the drawer, I grab the knife I was using to cut holes into his boxers. Standing up, I walk to the door, taking one final look around before smiling to myself and leaving. Serves him right for being an asshole.

“Blake?” Jace appears through the back room. I jump, slamming the door closed.Might as well scream I just did something.“What were you doing?” he asks, smirking.

Shaking my head, I move to the side, biting down on one of my nails. I’m acting as if I just got caught with my hand in the cookie jar. In a way, I suppose I did. If Jace takes one look into Ryker’s room, he’ll see a mess.

“Ryker isn’t in here, so tell me, what were you doing?” Jace walks forward.

Don’t go in there,I sign, even if he doesn’t understand me. Jace stops for a moment, clearly confused, not that I don’t blame him.

“I really need to learn some sign language.” He sighs. I smile, nodding my head. It would be easier if he knew ASL, but it would also be nice if Iwould just speak. “But I’m assuming from the way you’re trying to hide the door, you’re either snooping around or you did something,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest. I debate on telling him the truth, smirking before holding up two fingers.

“You know he’s going to figure it out, right?” he asks. I shrug. I know he’ll figure it out, probably sooner rather than later.

“Want to come sit outside? It’s cold, but the sun is setting.”

Smiling, I just about skip to him, sliding my arms around his waist. I don’t know why I feel like hugging him, and I hope he doesn’t question it. I hate showing emotions and if he brings it up, I’m going to get uncomfortable.

Thankfully, he doesn’t. Instead, he wraps his arms around my shoulders, holding me against his hard chest. Both of us lets out a sigh, feeling at peace for what feels like the first time. Only with Jace have I felt like I could finally breathe without the pain.

“Come on, let’s go talk outside.” Jace kisses the top of my head. Nodding, I smile, following him out the door onto the front of the porch.

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