I bite down on my lip, knowing that what I’m going to do is either going to get me killed or seriously punished.
The panic didn’t set in until hours later while I was showering.
That’s the thing about panic attacks, they hit you out of nowhere and you have no idea when it’ll settle.
I can feel their hands on my skin. The roughness of their palms. The awful smell…
“Tell me, tell me where the shipments are and all this can end for you,” Henry’s whiskey breath hits my face.
“I…I don’t know.” I shake my head. My brain pulses against my skull, pounding and breaking with every second I’m here.
“I’m trying here, but if you can’t tell me, then I’m not sure I can hold my friends back.”
I try to pick my head up, but everything feels heavy. My arms hang from above my head, my fingertips growing numb. And the only thing I can think about is why my parents put us in this situation. Why did Dad pick Henry to be my guard?
“I’ll be nice and give you one more chance.” Henry grabs my chin, forcing me to look up at him. My feet dangle on the ground, barely able to keep myself up.
I must have been quiet for too long because Henry lets out a whistle. I try to peek up. What was he whistling at?
I don’t have to wait long before three men step into the room, the faint sound of Gabriel yelling just before the door slams shut.
I shake my head. I know what they’re about to do, and there’s nothing I can do to stop them. One glance at Henry tells me he’s not going to help me either. No, he’s the reason I’m here. He was the one who helped kidnap the mafia’s daughter.
I scream the moment ice-cold water hits me. My teeth chatter, I can barely breathe, I can’t breathe.
I can’t BREATHE.
I gasp for air.
Slipping in the tub, my ass hits the ground. Grabbing at my throat, I claw my skin, I can’t breathe. My nails dig into my skin, digging further, needing air. Bile rises from my stomach; it’s slowly working its way up. I can’t swallow.
I can’t breathe.
My eyes slam shut, my fingers gripping my hair. I yank, my brain needs to stop working.
Get out of my head.
All I can see is Henry. He’s laughing, forcing himself into me, encouraging the others to beat me. I can feel the whips, the tearing of my skin. My body aches, my toes starting to go numb. I slam my head against the tile. I need to feel something, something else but this.
Feel something.
“Shit,” someone whispers in the bathroom.
Oh, no. They’re here.
I slam my head harder against the tile shower wall.I’m going to die.
I scramble forward, I need to get away. I can’t let them take me again. I can’t. I’ll never survive, not again.I can’t let them take me.I shake my head.They’re dead. They’re all supposed to be dead.
I slam my head against the shower wall again. Pain shoots behind my eyes, an instant headache causing me to feel nauseous.
“Bla—”
I shake my head, tilting my head down between my knees.
Breathe, breathe, just fucking breathe.
My eyes fill with tears, threatening to fall. Slamming my eyes closed, I bite down on my lip again, drawing blood into my mouth.