Page 83 of Ruined

“I—I’m not sure what to say,” I utter taking another drink of my coffee. Ryker has been my best friend for fifteen years and I never looked at him like that, and as far as I knew he didn’t either.

“I’m not gay if that’s what you’re thinking,” Ryker says, grabbing another cup of coffee.

“Bisexual?” I ask.

“No.” He shakes his head.

“Ryker, you gotta give me something. Come on, we’re friends.”

He frowns, reaching over to pour another cup.

“It wasn’t about you. I wanted to lick her pussy, so I did. It just so happens your dick was there. Don’t think too much into it.” Ryker shrugs.

Pressing my lips together, I drain the rest of my coffee.Don’t think too much into it.Rolling my eyes, I set my cup in the sink, walking over to the fridge. Knowing Blake will want cinnamon rolls when she wakes up, I start on those.

Just as I set the pan into the oven, a phone starts to go off. Ryker peeks his head over the couch for a moment before jumping to his feet. Reaching above the fridge I grab the sat phone, pulling it down, and I answer just as Ryker appears next to me.

“Hello?”

“Jace, Jace it’s Luna…I need help, I need…no no, HELP!"

31

Iwas falling in love with them. And the idea that they don’t feel the same way has me feeling nauseous. Men are weird. They can act as if they care, they shower you in love, but then with the flip of a switch, they want nothing to do with you.

I don’t understand how I could fall for both of them so quickly, but I did. I want to stay in this cabin forever. To never go back home where they all treat me like I’m going to break. Ryker and Jace make me feel safe, like I belong somewhere. I feel normal for once.

But what if they don’t feel the same way? How would I go back to what it was like when they weren’t in my life? It’s not possible.

“Fuck!” someone snaps out in the living room. Sitting up in bed, I glance around, registering that neither Jace nor Ryker are in the room.

Swinging my legs over, I quickly use the restroom, pulling on one of Ryker’s shirts before stepping out of the room.

“Jace, we can’t, so stop fucking thinking about it,” Ryker whispers harshly.

I frown, slowly making my way further into the room. What the hell could they be talking about?

“We can’t just…” Jace trails off, spotting me from the corner of his eye. “Morning, Sunshine.” He grins.

Smiling, I let out a sigh, stepping into his arms. I lean against his chest, hugging him tight.

“How did you sleep?” Jace asks kissing the top of my head.

Tilting my head up, I smile, nodding my head.

“Good, that’s good.” His voice shakes. It’s small, but I can tell when something's going on with others. There’s tension in his shoulders and the way he’s holding me, it’s like he’s afraid I’m going to disappear.

Turning around, I lean my back against his chest, looking over at Ryker, who looks like he’s going to climb across the counter and murder Jace.

What happened?I ask.

Ryker’s eyes flicker up at Jace. I can feel him shaking his head not wanting Ryker to tell me what’s going on.

Is it about me?I ask, my toes becoming numb. This is it. This is when they tell me it’s done. That they’re done with me. I stand up, stepping away from Jace. I can feel myself starting to shut down, ignoring the emotions that are dragging my heart down.

“Fuck it. Luna just called and something happened.” Ryker crosses his arms over his chest.

“Ryker.”

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