Page 48 of Ruined

Jace earned my trust, while Ryker doesn’t give a shit about it.

I shouldn’t want Ryker, but I do.

Shaking my head, I head back into Jace’s room. Twisting the handle, I close the door as quietly as I can. Watching my step, I climb into the bed, under the covers, doing my best not to disrupt Jace.

“Ryker talks loud,” Jace mumbles, rolling over. I tense, my arms against my chest, waiting for him to freak out and tell me to get out of his bed. “Did he… hurt you?”

I sigh, turning on my side to face him. I’m not sure how to answer that. I came, so I would say I enjoyed myself. But I’m not sure how to handle that darkness inside me. I don’t want Jace to look or treat me any differently because of it.

“Blake, I’m not upset with you,” he whispers, grabbing the back of my head. I’m pulled against his chest. Wiggling a hand between us, I use my finger to write Ryker. It takes him a few minutes before he understands what I’m trying to say. “I’m not upset with him. I’m not entirely sure how I feel. Ryker is my best friend. We’ve been through so much in the military and how we got into being hitmen, but we’ve never felt the same way towards the same girl.”

Jace’s arms tighten around me, burying my face into his chest.

“I don’t want to lose you when I feel like I’m just starting to have you,” he murmurs. Tapping his chest I shake my head. Jace doesn’t understand; he would never lose me. “Just promise me, be careful with him.”

Peering up, I search his face, trying to understand what’s got him scared about me and Ryker knowing each other. But if it has anything to do with the fact that Ryker has a thing for blood, just from the small hint of a few minutes ago, I should be scared, but I’m not.

“I don’t like the idea of him hurting you,” Jace mumbles, staring down at me. “Just be careful.”

I nod my head into his chest. I wasn’t sure what else to say or if there was anything to say at all.

My eyes snap open, already blurry with tears, blinking over at Jace, who’s sleeping on his back with his arms behind his head. I swipe the tears away, and holding my breath, I pull the blankets off me, slipping out of the bed. Glancing at Jace over my shoulder, I bite my bottom lip. I don’t know what changed, but it’s like my sexual nature woke up all of a sudden. Just looking at Jace makes me want to jump his bones. The guilt inside tells me it’s wrong. The things I crave from both Jace and Ryker are wrong.

I shouldn’t want to be carved. I shouldn’t want Jace to make love to me while Ryker watches and then fucks me like a rag doll. I shouldn’t want those things.

I can’t want those things. Jace is here to protect me and keep the true monsters away. I’m not sure what Ryker is here for, but I can’t.

Shaking my head, I pull my gaze away from Jace. Stepping into the bathroom, I lock the door, triple-checking that it’s locked before stripping my clothes and getting into the shower. The ice-cold water sprays across my body, goosebumps spreading across my skin. Ignoring the ping in my heart, I wash quickly, and get out.

Wrapping my hair into a towel and another one around my body, I realize I forgot to grab clothes from the dresser.It’s not like Jace hasn’t seen my scars before.Yet it’s different. I felt uncomfortable when Ryker saw me naked, but with Jace it’s embarrassing. I don’t want to be the girl who has scars, baggage, and more fucked up thoughts than the average twenty-year-old.

Swallowing my fear, I unlock the door and step out, immediately stopping in my tracks when I find Jace sitting up against the headboard staring at me. Arousal pools between my legs, the guilt slowly seeping in again. But with the way Jace is staring at me, I want him just as much as he wants me.

“Blake,” Jace growls. My eyes snap to his, feeling a little uneasy. His pupils dilate, his eyes traveling down the length of my body, and I know he can see the scars on my legs, the ones across my chest, and especially my neck and arms as I hold the towel over my chest.

“Drop the towel, Sunshine,” Jace orders, leaving no room for argument.

I don’t think. Releasing my hands from the towel, I let it drop to my feet.

17

Irefuse to grow angry looking at the scars and marks that litter her entire body. I don’t think there is a part that isn’t covered. Her chest, over her large tits, down her stomach, thighs, all the way down to her toes, where one is missing.

I refuse to be angry right now. That can wait until after I get finished with her, because right now, Blake is standing in front of me, naked. I can’t think of anything but burying my face in her pussy and watching her cum on my tongue.

“Get on the bed,” I order, swinging my legs over the side and standing.

Blake peers down, swallowing whatever fears she’s holding inside. I don’t want her to be afraid of me, but if she’s not scared of Ryker, then she has no reason to be afraid of me. Not after what I heard last night and not when she came back to bed relaxed and snoring.

Blake hasn’t moved a muscle, her eyes glued to the floor. Does she think I’m going to judge her from her scars? I thought we’d been over this before.

“I won’t ask again, Blake, get on the bed,” I growl.

Blake nods, moving towards the bed, and climbing on top, I can’t move, watching the way her hips sway or the jiggle in her ass. Fuck, I’m going to bury my face in her ass and fucking live there.

“Good girl,” I mumble, walking around the side of the bed. Blake’s head snaps up to mine, her eyes blown and fuck, she looks so delicious. “I can’t wait to taste you.” The words fly from my mouth, leaving Blake to freak out.

“Are you going to be a good girl and let me do what I’ve been wanting to do since you threw a knife at me?” I smirk, walking toward the end of the bed. Blake shakes her head, crab-crawling backwards. As if that would save her. “I’ll give you one chance to tell me no.” Reaching the bed, I grab ahold of her ankle. “So tell me, Sunshine, do you want to cum on my tongue?”

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