But Viper would tell me to open myself up, to be honest about my past. That if Noah had feelings for me, he would understand.
Then I have Ghost telling me I have two options: kill him before I let my obsession grow or to tie him down so he can’t run. To make him hurt.
It was the devil and an angel battling for what was right.
But damn me if I didn’t want to kiss him.
The weight of not knowing what he felt like was suffocating. I want to feel his lips on mine again. I want to know what it was like to hold him in my arms. I want to know everything that made him the way he is.
I was so tired of hiding that part of myself.
I clench my hand around the loofah, suds seeping between my fingers. Everything around me was crushing down.
Noah must have sensed a shift in the air because he stiffens against the loofah. The tension between us is thickening.
“Reed?” His voice was heavy with thought.
“Hmm?” Trailing the loofah down his right arm, I refuse to look at him. One look, and I’m going to crumble to the floor.
“Kiss me,” he mutters. His voice was barely loud enough to be heard over the water. Steam fills the bathroom, but that’s not what’s making it hard to breathe. It’s the fact he’s telling me to kiss him. My resolve wavers, teetering between listening to that angel on one side and the devil on the other.
“If you want,” he whispers.
“Fuck,” I murmured. It takes all of two seconds before I drop the loofah, yank my mask off, and slam my lips against his.
It’s like a dam breaking—every single ounce of restraint that I clung to before has finally given way. Now I was stuck with the raw, aching need for him. The world around us blurred, nothing but his warmth. Desire curls hot and insistent around my chest. My heart races against my ribcage, pounding in my ears.
Wrapping my arms around his waist, I deepened the kiss. Urgency to taste him has my grip on his back tightening.
Noah groans into my mouth, pleasure mixed with the pain of his shoulder. I know I should stop this, even if I wanted nothing more than to take him to bed. I have to be careful of his shoulder. While the cabin is stocked enough, I don’t want to put him in harm's way.
Noah’s mouth chases me as I pull back. Keeping my forehead resting against his, it takes me a minute to pull myself together. When I stand back, his lips are red and swollen.
It’s not until Noah whispers my name that I realize there’s no going back. He had wrapped himself around me, and I can’t pretend he hasn’t.
CHAPTER26
Noah
I’ve died and gone straight to heaven.
It’s the only explanation for Reed kissing me,again.
Tension built inside my chest, making it nearly impossible to breathe right. It was heavy and suffocating. It was an awful, twisted feeling sitting heavy in my stomach.
I knew he was going to change his mind. He was going to ignore me, act like I was nothing but a stupid fly on the wall. I could see it coming; I was just within arm's reach. He’s done it so many times that I could taste the plea on the tip of my tongue.
It’s the shift in the air, the tension in his shoulders. I can’t look at him. I don't want to see the shift in his eyes like he’s disgusted with me. It’s foolish of me to hold onto the hope that this time would be different.
“Open your eyes,” Reed mumbles against my lips. I shake my head,refusingto let him have more power over me. Except I’m a fool. He has more power over me than anyone I know. I don’t know what changed. I don’t even know what it is about Reed, but no matter how many times I tell myself to toss him aside, I can’t.
“Noah.” Maybe it’s the way he gets bossy. That even though he told me I talk too much, he never left me out there.
But like the little wussy that I am, my eyes slowly blink open. Reed stands before me, half of his clothes drenched from the shower.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt out. Instead of focusing on the fact we just made out or that I’m standing here naked, I choose to focus on Reed.
“What are you sorry for?” He whispers.