Page 64 of Uprising

But then my mind drifts to Reed. To his laughter when I spit out random facts. The way he watched me all the time. He thought I never noticed, but I did. And I liked it.

“Hey, you alright?” Jake nudges me, pulling me back to reality.

“Y–yeah. I’m okay; I was—” I stop talking, refusing to even mention Reed. For some reason I don’t want anyone to know about him. I don’t want to share Reed.

The air feels heavy as I push one foot in front of the other, stepping forward. Molly walks around the group, sitting down next to another woman. They both wrap their arms around each other, the girl clearly glad Molly was back. Hollow nervousness settles in my chest, the odd feeling like I don’t belong. I’ve always been the one who can talk to anyone. But words seem to fail me around all these people.

“Guys, this is Noah,” Jake announces. Everyone’s eyes swing to me, some looking surprised. “That’s Will, Martin, Tyler, Anglea, and Sara.” Jake points around the circle.

“Hey Noah,” Sara—the one who was hugging Molly—smiles.

“Ah, hi.” I raise my hand, giving them a tiny wave.

Shifting on my feet, I swallow around the lump in my throat. The weight of their stares lay heavy on my shoulders. Normally I would have filled the silence by now, making some type of joke, doing anything else but standing here like a fool. But now the words are stuck, tangled in knots in my stomach. My mouth dries, my hands suddenly unable to stay still. I glance around at the others, the men going back to talking. I try to think of something—anything—to say, but every thought slips away.

I peer over Sara and Anglea when Molly waves her hand over. I force a small smile, a part of me wishing I could just turn around and run. But I don’t. Instead I move around the group, stopping near Molly.

“This is Sara, my aunt.”

“Oh, uh, hi,” I mumble.

The woman—Sara—smiles, patting the bench next to her. “Molly was telling me you saved her in the hardware store.”

I open my mouth only to close it quickly. A beat of silence stretches between us, tension sitting between us. I never thought I would kill zombies, let alone save someone from them. It’s odd and unsettling.

“I just—I want to thank you.”

“You don’t need to, it… it was nothing.” I didn’t even believe that. I was never one to stop and save the other person. I only and always have thought about myself, but the idea of leaving Molly behind while I ran didn’t sit well with me.

“I doubt that, but I still want to thank you.” Sara gives me a sad smile. I nod, refusing to let the feeling threaten to crawl its way out.

“So, where are you from? You have a little accent, but I can’t exactly tell where from.” Anglea asks, leaning forward.

“Oh, well, originally from south Florida, but for the past two years I was in Louisiana.”

“Wow, Louisiana. That’s a far walk from there to be doing alone.”

The fire crackles in front of me, my chest tightening at the mention of being alone. I wasn’t always alone. I had someone.

“Yeah, it—it was hard.” I clear my throat forcefully. I don’t want to talk about Reed. Talking and thinking about him is hard, and right now I just want to relax and try to remember when a time wasn’t so fucking hard.

“Well, I think we’re going to stay here one more night and then head off in the morning. I know it can be hard trusting new people, but you’re more than welcome to tag along. I’m sure Jake wouldn’t mind someone around his age to talk to again.” Anglea chuckles under her breath.

“Where are y’all heading?”

“Tallahassee,” Sara answers.

“Oh, then yeah. I mean, if everyone is cool with it, I’m heading to Florida.”

Sara and Anglea nod along, clearly picking up that I’m not in much of a talking mood. “Molly, why don’t you show Noah where he can rest for the time being?”

Thankfully no one else says anything as Molly shows me to an extra tent. She helps me set it up before disappearing. I find myself being happy to be alone again. Climbing through the tent, I set my bag down before unrolling the extra sleeping bag. I didn’t think I was tired until my head hit my bag. Closing my eyes, I let myself drift off to sleep, memories of Reed clouding every dream.

* * *

Three days later,I walked along with Molly and Jake. Most of the time they joked and acted like siblings that had me missing Rue and Mallory more and more. The chances of my parents having more children was never going to happen, so when I went to college and found those two, it was like part of me that had been missing was now fixed. And while I loved talking about Rue and Mallory with Molly, it also hurt. I had no idea if they were in Florida, let alone at the island. I liked the idea that they were, but deep down I had a feeling they hadn’t made it. Especially Mallory, the girl who was a female version of myself. She probably hadn’t made it a week without ending up dead. And then Rue, who couldn’t trust a single soul.

Part of me felt like I should just continue with Jake and Molly. I didn’t mind third wheeling, and maybe eventually I’d find someone that would make me forget Reed. But I also knew that wouldn’t happen. Reed was implanted in my head so far and so deep, nothing and no one was going to make me forget him.

---