I throw my hands up, flabbergasted he’s this dense. “What do you mean, what am I talking about? You’re here to kill me! Well, get on with it.”
“Will you quiet down?” Reed narrows his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.
“No!” My voice betrays me because I do in fact quiet down. “What’s the point? Maybe I should scream at the top of my lungs. I should warn everyone that there’s a murderer here! Let the zombies tear you apart.” I won’t because even though he’s here to kill me, my brain still loves him. Which is completely toxic, and Rue would be smacking me upside the head.
Reed rolls his eyes, shaking his head. Somehow that only adds fuel to my anger. Why can’t he just make this quick? Why does he have to drag this on?
“You’re a stupid little boy,” he mutters under his breath.
“For your information, I am not stupid, nor am I alittle boy.I’m twenty, just in case you forgot. I’m a grown adult. Also, my IQ is high, 126 to be exact. That’s above the average; I bet I’m even smarter than you!”
“Could’ve fooled me,” he grunts.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me; I didn’t stutter. You’re acting like a child, throwing a tantrum,again.It’s not cute.”
“Good thing I wasn’t trying to be cute then, huh?” I raise a brow.
Reed steps forward, clearly done with this conversation. My pulse spikes; every muscle inside tightens as the need to run, to dosomething,hits me. But I must be stupid, like he said, because I can’t move; I’m stuck staring at Reed as he closes the distance between us. Tilting my head up, I bite my tongue to stop myself from crying.
“You’re annoying, dumb, and clearly need a good attitude adjustment?—”
“If all you’re going to do is insult me, can you just stop and get on to the killing part now?”
“Shut up,” he snaps. My mouth clamps shut, and any words that would’ve come out disappear. “We have a lot to unpack here, and I’m not sure standing out in the middle of the woods where zombies could come and as you put it, tear me apart. But I’ll keep it short; I’m not here to kill you. Yes, I used to murder people for living, but in case you haven’t realized, the dead are coming after the living now. I don’t have time to worry about being a hired hitman, not when the man I love thinks I’m here to kill him.”
Everything around me—the world, every noise, every thought—stops. The air feels like it’s been knocked out of my lungs. My heart forgets to beat. I wasn’t expecting him to say it. Not now—not ever.
No one has ever said they loved me. Maybe Rue and Mallory, though I’m sure we all gagged and never said it again. But no man has ever said they loved me.
And for the first time, I let myself believe it. I let myself feel it.
“But—”
“But what?”
“You let me leave. You confessed some deep feelings, and then when I needed answers, you j–just fucked me. You used me. I can’t forget that Reed.” I hate ruining the moment, but I can’t just let him hurt me and then say he loves me, thinking it’ll fix everything.
“And I regret letting you leave?—”
“Why are you so secretive?” I blurt out.
Reed blows out a breath, his eyes dropping as he gathers his thoughts. I want to reach over and hug him, but I refrain from doing that.
Finally he looks up. “My friend, Viper, one of the guys in the photo. I watched him die. We were ambushed, and he was bitten. We didn’t know much about the outbreak, and so we did nothing. He eventually turned, and I–I was the one who had to put him down. He was one of my best friends, and I had to end him like cattle.”
His words hit me like a punch to the chest; they steal my breath before I can even process everything.
Reed lost someone important to him, someone who was a part of him. I can’t imagine his pain. My heart twisted, aching with the weight of his pain. I’d be a mess if I lost Mallory and Rue. And if I had to be the one to put them out of their misery—I shake my head.
I couldn’t.
I move forward, wrapping my arms around him. Reed’s slow to move, but then his arms move around my back, holding me close. Resting my head against his chest, I smile at his warmth, waiting for the sound of his heartbeat. My brows pull together when I don’t hear anything at first until very slowly it beats.
Holding him tighter, I wish I could take a fraction of his pain away. I know I can’t, but maybe just hugging him is enough. Hoping he understands that while I don’t have anything to say, hugging him is the next best thing.
CHAPTER41