Page 22 of Fourteen Years

“Mom! I said I’m fine! I’m just tired and sore. I’m stressed about my senior year.” she said, looking at me.

I sighed, staring at her.

“You know your dad and I love you. We’re always here for you to talk to. You don’t have to hold all of this in. You can talk to me about anything. Hell. Talk to Becks if you don’t want to talk to your mom, Lacey. Just promise me you won’t keep on like this.” I begged. “I can’t lose you too.”

“You’re not going to lose me, Mom. God.” she rolled her eyes and made her way over, sitting beside me.

“Well, I sure miss my sweeter moments with you.” I joked, wrapping an arm around her and drawing her close.

“I’m almost a grown-up.” she grumbled.

“You’ll always be my baby though.” I whispered, squeezing her.

“Awww. Look at you two.” said Becks from the entryway into the kitchen. “Did you all make up?”

Lacey laughed, sitting up and pulling away from me. I rubbed my chest over my heart absently.

I hadn’t been lying when I said I was scared I was going to lose her. She was growing up too fast. Paul and she had been so close even though he was just her step-dad. He could get her to cut up and laugh. She’d talked to him about things a lot more than me. We were just too much alike.

Becks smiled at me, knowingly, taking her spot on her couch again.

“Can I babysit when the baby comes?” asked Lacey suddenly.

I jerked my head in surprise and Becks looked shocked too. We had to practically beg her to watch Nat and Lexi when we wanted her to.

Becks nodded. “That’s definitely something we can talk about Lacey.”

Lacey smiled at her and stood up.

“Thanks, Aunt Becks. I’m sorry again. I’m going back upstairs.”

We watched her leave the room and I shook my head.

“Talk about a roller coaster of moods.” I mumbled.

Becks laughed. “She’s at a confusing time in her life.”

“Who's gonna tell her it never gets better?” I joked.

Becks just lifted her mug of tea in a toast to the accurateness of my statement.

Chapter 12

Tilting my review mirror down I checked my hair again. Sitting in my red pickup truck outside of Monica’s house felt different this time. I felt like I was sixteen again, picking her up for our first ever date. I’d been nervous then too. Imagining what her parents would be like, do, or say. I’d grown up with two miserable excuses for parents. Constantly cheating on one another, fighting, using each other as punching bags. Using their only child as a punching bag, I’d been nervous as hell to walk into that house then. But her parents had been nothing but welcoming and understanding. They’d ended up saving me in a way.

They gave me the first normalcy I’d ever had. The first stability. I felt like I’d thrown it all back in their face after I’d gone down my own drug-addled path and left Monica and Lacey. But they’d welcomed me back with open arms when I’d gotten my shit together.

I was nervous as hell and her parents weren’t even there this time to greet me. We were grown adults. We’d spoken to the girls about everything. They were surprisingly okay with it all. Lexi was more nervous than Lacey, understandably. I was pretty sure she felt like I was going to try to replace Paul in some way.

That was never my intention and never would be. His memory would stay alive in all of us. I rubbed at my healing tattoo absentmindedly before opening my truck door and climbing down. The memorial piece I'd gotten for Paul was an amazing work of art. Lucas had voiced his idea to his tattooist, Marcus, and he’d brought the vision to life. Nick and I had gotten them together last week while Lucas talked and joked around visiting with us in the shop.

I pressed the doorbell and stuck my free hand in my jean pocket nervously. I’d tried to keep it casual but looked nicer than I usually did. I preferred my sweatpants and casual t-shirts. The jeans and tight fighting polo were not my usual attire.

The door swung open and my daughter stood smirking at me.

She looked so much like me sometimes it was breathtaking.

“Hey, beautiful.” I said, stepping in and giving her a hug. She scoffed, pushing me away.