Page 117 of Always Been Yours

She rests her hand on top of the water, trying to flatten out the small tremors. Right as I start to resign myself to the fact she’s too lost in her own thoughts, she asks quietly, “Do you ever think about your parents vow renewal?”

The question makes me pause, scoffing at the memory. “I try not to.”

From this angle, I can see her nibbling on her bottom lip. “Why not?”

“You were there, Viv… I mean, you werekind ofthere… Right?”

“I wish I could say I was but no. My head was pretty much in another dimension that entire night… except for when I said I hated you.” She looks at me with a guilty expression. “Which was a lie,” she adds quickly.

I give her a small smile. “Thanks for the clarification, love. But do you not remember anything about that night?”

She shakes her head. “Tell me what happened,” she replies a little too meek for my liking.

“It isn’t a big deal.” I shrug, trying to brush off the bad memory. Neither one of us held back that night. She’s lucky she doesn’t remember it.

“Please, Grady. It has bothered me for years. I feel like such an asshole anytime I think about it.”

I take a deep breath. “I was theass, Viv.”

I walked to the front porch and saw Vivi sprawled out on the stairs, staring up at the sky. I couldn’t tell if she was laughing or crying or a weird mix of both.

Bonnie had demanded Vivi try to sober up or go home after she knocked over one of the flower arrangements.

Drunk had not been a good look on any of them that night but most specifically Vivi. It was obvious she was drinking to solve a problem and I don’t know why I needed to talk to her then. I knew it wasn’t a good idea, but I had to say something to her. I didn’t know when I would see her again.

I stopped in front of her and cleared my throat.

She slowly cracked open one eye and let out the loudest, most dramatic groan when she saw it was me.

“Oh, just the person I’ve been waiting for.”

“Excuse me?”

“You talked to my brothers… and my sister… and my mom… Hell, you even talked to your junior year homecoming date—“

“Funny she came withyoutonight.”

“But you don’t talk to me.” She sits up on her elbows, barely able to hold her head up. “Nope. Not pathetic, little Vivi. Not that annoying girl next door, right?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about right now, but you sound like an idiot.” I regretted the words as soon as I said them, but I stuffed my hands in my pockets, waiting for the volcano to erupt.

She huffs out an annoyed breath. “Yeah, of course you don’t. Because I’m nothing. Nothing to anyone. Not even myself.” She falls backwards and stares up at the sky again. “You can go now. Thanks fornothing.”

I don’t know why that grated me so much, but it did. She isn’t nothing. This fiery woman I’ve known my entire life iseverything.

“Just becausehemade you feel like that, doesn’t meanit’s true. Now sit up,“ I snapped at her in a way I never had before. “I’m trying to have a goddamn conversation with you.”

I was trying to apologize to her, to get on my knees and beg for her forgiveness if that’s what it took. But she wouldn’t let me. And that made me unfairly angry.

“Well,Grady Miller,“ sneering my name like a slur, “I don’t want to talk to you.”

I started to turn away before my growing temper got the best of me. “I’m sorry you dated a jackass,” I spit out, “and I’m sorry you don’t have any friends left so that you’re forced to hang out with your lifelong arch nemesis.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she replied in a deceptively quiet voice.

“I’m sorry that no one can live up to your standards,” I continue on. “It must be a pretty lonely life.”

“Yeah, it kind of is,” she agrees, suddenly more awake. “But it has to be better than the nice guy bullshit you like to live by. You know, like how you don’t have a fucking backbone and couldn’t keep a promise to save your life.”

---