“You’re not delivery from Max’s.” She tilts her head, giving me a hard look.
“Uh. No, I’m not. I’m sure you know why I’m here.”
“Wait there.” She slams the door in my face, probably asking Vivi how she wants to handle thissituation. It’s weird how normal it is to see Lexi as her protector now.
A minute later, the door slowly cracks open and Vivi slips out, shutting it firmly behind her.
Andfuck me, of course she’s in her little green sweater set that just about brings me to my knees every time. It’s the perfect mix of sexy and adorable, just like her. Her hair is half up in two little buns and her feet are covered by knee high white socks. Maybe it’s weird but this is quite literally my wet dream—especially knowing the sexy little lingerie set she no doubt has on underneath. It just makes this conversation that much harder.
“Hey.” My voice sounds raw, even to my own ears.
In the smallest voice I’ve ever heard from her, she says, “Hi. What’re you doing here?”
“I wanted to check on you… Stella and Daisy were wondering where you were tonight.” She lifts her hand to her mouth, trying to hold in her strangled sob. “Vivi…” I take a tentative step toward her only to be let down when she presses herself against the door.
“Grady.” She holds her hand up to stop me. “I know you’re considering moving to New York with the girls.”
My mouth opens and closes, trying to figure out how she knows that when it suddenly hits me. “Stella…”
“Quite the eavesdropper. Don’t be mad at her, Grady. She didn’t tell me to be mean. She was just confused, and looking for an adult she trusts.” She wipes under her eye, holding herself around the waist with her other arm. “She said she even likes me, actually.” A sad huff escapes out of her.
“I’m… I’m not mad at her. I’m just confused. I am not moving to New York, Viv.”
Her eyes flash to mine now. “Does Arielle know that?”
“She—no. She doesn’t know.Yet.You have to believe me.”
She nods looking away from me. “I do believe you, but it just… it isn’t enough, Grady.”
The air rushes out of my lungs, leaving me feeling even more disoriented than the last few days. “What do you mean?”
“I can handle being second to your daughters. Iexpectto be second to them, always. Bu—“ Another sob crawls up her throat. Taking a deep breath, she looks at me, stiffening her shoulders. “But I can’t be second to your ex-wife.”
“You aren’t.” I shake my head frantically, wanting more than anything to reach for her.
She shakes her head back. “You didn’t tell her about me, Grady. You’ve been promising me your entire future for two months now, but you haven’t toldher.Whether she knew what she was doing or not, you sat there while she picked at one of my biggest insecurities.“ The little girl next door comment. I was an idiot to pretend it wouldn’t affect her much. “You were either… unsure about us or scared to let that part of your life go or…” She can’t hold back the sobs anymore. Pushing through her tears, she finishes, “Or you were embarrassed of me. And I can’t live with that, Grady. I don’t deserve to live with that.”
“No, fuck.No.“ I tug on my short hair. “I am not embarrassed by you Vivi. I just… I had a feeling Arielle wanted to talk about us, about getting back together. I didn’t want that. So, I avoided her, only talking about the girls and answering calls when the girls were around. She doesn’t wantme; she just doesn’t like change. And I don’t want her. I wantyou.I only want you, Vivi. I was trying to protect what we have because that’s what matters to me.Youmatter to me.“ She just shakes her head, holding her hand up to stop me again. I didn’t realize I took a step toward her, but I take one back, even though it kills me.
“Youavoidedthe situation. Just like you avoided me,“ she shakes with another sob, “and Amada Beach and your family and everything else. When are you going to learn, Grady?” The tears are really flowing now, her arms thrown out to her side. “You can’t avoid these conversations. Arielle is going to be in your lifeforever, regardless of if I am or not.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“It’s the truth, Grady. And you need to realize that. Sure, some people can go the rest of their lives without seeing their ex-spouse, but you have two kids together. That’s not your reality, Grady. YouavoidedArielle but did you set those boundaries with her? Did you tell her that you don’t want to get back together? That you think being separated and raising the girls in Amada Beach is the best choice for them? Did you tell her that you thinkI’mthe best choice foryou?”
Goddammit.
My heart practically stops in my chest.
She’s right. Of course, she’s right. I told Genevieve that I would choose her, choose this life, here. But I didn’t talk to the one person who needs to know that. I wanted to believe that Arielle didn’t have a place in our life here but that was naïve and selfish. Not only to Vivi, but to my daughters.
I should’ve told Arielle who Vivi is to me, and I should have prepared Vivi better. I shouldn’t have let them run into each other that way.
Fuck.
“I am going to tell her. Tomorrow… she’s with the girls, celebrating Stella’s birthday. But I am going to tell her. There will be no room for confusion. I am staying here. Withyou.”
“You do what you need to do, Grady, but…” She shakes her head. I could go my entire life without seeing her do that again. “I need time. All of this… it brings up a lot that isn’t fair to put on you. I thought I was able to be the happy, easygoing stepmom but now I’m not so sure. I need some time to think.”