Page 20 of Always Been Yours

Lexi

HAHAHA

Hudson

Black walls? Didn’t expect that from him.

I would come back just to haunt you actually

Asher

Only a confident man would paint his walls black

Oh yeah? Lyp had black walls when she was in high school. What does that make her?

Asher

Emo

I walk into the kitchen, bringing more plates inside, when I catch Grady slightly opening the window to the backyard. It allows the happy sounds of our mothers to pour through the crack, filling the kitchen with the soft echoes of their laughs.

Selena’s laugh is light and airy, as if she doesn’t have a care in the world, whereas my mom has a playful and mischievous snicker. It’s a little high-pitched and quiet, almost identical to Calypso’s.

I don’t know if Iremembermy dad’s laugh, but it feels like I do, mostly because my mom and siblings say that I have his deep belly-laugh. One of those laughs that starts in your toes, and you feel it throughout your entire body to the point that you can’t keep it in. Hudson always told me that it was a sign of how much ourdad and I loved life, but I’ve only recently started to love it again after years with my ex-fiancé.

Sneaking up beside Grady I quietly say, “That’s one of my favorite sounds in the world.” The perfect mixture of the two women sitting on the bench swing with their glasses of sangria.

He jumps at the unexpected interruption, dropping a glass back into the sudsy water. I can’t help the faint chuckle that works its way out of my throat at the same time he clears his. “You scared me.” He shakes his head, continuing with his task. “But it’s one of my favorite sounds as well. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until tonight.”

I nod in understanding. I wasn’t away from Amada Beach for nearly as long as Grady but those four years at UCLA were hard, even with Lexi. I missed my siblings. I missed my mom and Selena singing in the kitchen. I missed Tim’s warm hugs and his deep soothing voice. I don’t know how he stayed away so long.

Without thinking much about it, I open the drawer to the right of the sink and pull out a dish towel. We work together in a companionable, slightly awkward silence for a few minutes.

After the sixth time that we lift our heads at the same time in response to our moms giggling like two schoolgirls together, I decide,fuck it.

“Why didn’t you visit more?” I can hear the disappointment in my voice no matter how hard I try to remain neutral. “It was hard for her. For your dad and my mom too but especially for Selena.”

He doesn’t say anything, just focuses on the dishes. He scrubs one cup for longer than necessary and I can tell he’s lost in his own thoughts.

If he doesn’t want to talk to me, then that’sfine. I don’t particularly care to open myself up to him again either. I’m about to finish drying the last dish when he finally turns toward me.

He leans one hip on the counter and faces me head on. I swallow down my sudden awareness of him, of his earthy masculine scent, of his assessing eyes taking me in with one full sweep.

When I finally turn to meet his eyes, he begins talking. “It was… hard coming back while I was married. Arielle is a really great mom—“ It’s hard to believe when she isn’t here with her daughters, and he must see that in my expression. “I know how it must look to people, with me here as the sole parent and her across the country in Upper East Side Manhattan—that’s where she’s from. Her parents and sister all live there in glamorous, way too high penthouses and very little privacy. I didn’t want that. I can understand why people like that lifestyle—the hustle and bustle, never feeling alone because you aren’teveralone in a city like that. But I didn’t want that, and I didn’t want that for my daughters.

“On the same note, Arielle didn’t like the laid-back lifestyle of California. She especially didn’t like the feeling of being known, even if there are less people. There isn’t emotional privacy in a place like Amada Beach.” I hum in agreement. There has probably never been a family with less privacy than mine out here. It all comes from the heart and good intentions. The community saw a single mother of four moving in and decided that we were Amada Beach’s family now. We’ve never known a moment of feeling unwanted since we moved here, and I’ll always be thankful. But that also comes with a few hundred people constantly checking on you, finding out your business and having opinions on things that don’t involve them.

“I can understand how our little town can be… jarring for people.”

“It’s always been my favorite place in the world,” he says with sincerity. “When Arielle and I got divorced, I knew that I was going to bring the girls here. They have cousins here… a community. Ariellewants to be on Broadway.” He shrugs lightly. “She has a real shot, but she’s getting a later start than most.Thatwas her dream.“ He’s quiet for a moment, looking at his hand that’s clutching the counter. “She’s a great mother but she was just a little girl with big dreams. I want her to explore that, and I want to beherewith my daughters.”

I feel choked up at his honesty, at the vulnerability he granted me, when he doesn’t owe me anything. I’m not sure that I would’ve laid myself so bare to him if he asked.

Fuck, IknowI wouldn’t have. I can’t even bring myself to be open with Lexi or my siblings most times.

“And what about you? What happened to the little boy with big dreams?” Grady wanted to join the MLB. He talked about playing for the San Diego Sharks our entire childhoods.

He says instantly, as if he has given it a lot of thought already, “Dreams change, Genevieve.”

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