Page 29 of Our Mother's Sons

“Hey guys, I’m back. I don’t have much time because I am frankly afraid for my life, but I’ll try to get out as much as possible. My name is Amanda Welms. I am twenty years old. I moved to Florida for college against my parents’ wishes, and even though they were upset, I stayed. I’ve been here two years, and it was the end of my sophomore year when I met my boyfriend. I didn’t usually go for his type-”

“This hoe means she didn’t go for black guys unless he got money. You said it, cousin,” Baela interrupted.

“He was kind. He was giving. He was loyal. He treated me so well. I didn’t have plans on getting in a relationship, but I was so lonely, and he was there. My parents live way in Idaho. They haven’t spoken to me in two years, so it’s just me. Dutton was my saving grace. He made my dark days brighter. We went on trips and shopped, and he took care of me. Then, I got pregnant-”

The video cut off, so we went to the next one.

“I’m back, guys.”

Amanda dabbed at her eyes with the tissue and tucked her hair behind her ear.

“I received a call that I had to take. Where was I? Oh yeah. I got pregnant. I was so distraught. I wanted to terminate immediately. I was only nineteen when I found out I was carrying a child. Dutton and I had only been together four months, and he’d gotten me pregnant. I am half to blame, but he knew I wanted to get my degree before anything. He begged me-”

Her voice broke as she cried into the tissue.

“Bitches want our niggas until they make them a single mama. Shit wild. The difference between us and them we saw our mamas and grandmas and aunties go through the shit. Sadly we are cut for it and their two parent home living asses isn’t.” Baela interjected.

“I’m sorry, but I just can not believe this. I feel like I’m living in the Twilight Zone right now. But I kept the baby. He wouldn’t allow me to get an abortion anyway. I kept the baby, and he promised to spoil me during the pregnancy. It’s strange now, but then it was endearing. He was at every doctor’s appointment, asking questions and ensuring the baby was healthy. He wouldn’t allow me to eat certain foods like shellfish, trying to convince me that I was allergic. I love shellfishhhhhh!”She boohooed.

“Lord this girl is tore the hell up off Dutton’s ass.” Baela lilted.

“Pregnancy was great, even though I didn’t have a relationship with my family. It was just me and Dutton. It was great. It was so great that I wanted to make amends with my people and let them know I was expecting. He shut that down. Saying he didn’t want them to stress his baby out and that we would tell them after the baby was born. Hesitantly, I agreed.”

“And you dumb ass hell,” Baela commentated.

Swallowing hard, I continued to watch.

“I ended up having the baby. Right on time. Five pounds even and perfectly healthy. He was concerned since I was carrying so small, but she was perfect. It was the happiest day of my life. I had my daughter and my man, who had made sure I brought the baby into the world without issues. I was more than ready to tell my parents so that they could fly in and celebrate us. They’ve always wanted grandchildren. And looking at my child, the guilt of hiding the pregnancy from them hit me hard. Dutton reasoned that we should get home, get settled, and wait for her two-week check-up before we told them so, I agreed,” she chuckled as more tears fell.

My body tensed, and it felt like I was about to pass out, but somehow I kept watching.

“We didn’t make it to the two weeks. One week after she was born, I let him convince me to take a ride with him to pick up drugs. It wasn’t for sale, it was for his personal use, and I wanted to get out of the house and get some sun since I felt myself falling into depression, so I agreed. I just agreed to any damn thing he said. I agreed, and that was the worst thing I could have done. He took me to a sketchy part of town. He drove. I was in the backseat with our baby, and while he waited for his dealer to pull up, we were robbed,” she screamed.

“We weren’t robbed for money or jewelry, though. We were robbed for our daughter! I tried so hard to fight for her back, but they held a gun to my head and showed me a picture of my parents. They said if I go to anyone, they are dead. I cried and screamed all night! I needed to do something. Dutton was calm. Too calm. When I asked him what we could do, he looked me dead in the eye and said, Let’s have another baby. I don’t care! I don’t care if I only have ten of you watching. I know in my heart he had something to do with it. Two days later, he moved out when I wouldn’t agree with him, and I haven’t seen him since. He targeted me. Now I know. I was just a girl with no family. He targeted me, trapped me, and even made me switch to online classes before I could start showing. He did something to my baby! I know he did. Please. His name is Dutton Chester, and he is about six feet high. He is African American with fair skin and wears a lot of jewelry. I hate to say it, but that’s all I know. HE TOOK MY BABY! HE SET IT UP!”

I felt my mouth water. My ears rang as Amanda screamed at the camera.

“Turn it off,” I mumbled as I swallowed back bile.

“Girl, this is so sad! What the fuck? You think he killed that girl’s baby?”

“Turn it off!”

Jumping up, I ran down the hall, barely reaching the toilet before spilling all my contents. The chicken and the liquor hit the water as tears pooled in my eyes.

“Oh my god, cousin, are you okay?”

I felt Baela holding my hair back; I kept going until I dry heaved. Pushing away from the toilet, my back hit the wall, and my elbows planted on my bent knees. Closing my eyes, I tried to make the world stop spinning. My phone vibrated in my bra, but I ignored it.

“Cousin. Talk to me. What’s going on?”

Opening my eyes, Baela was right there on the floor beside me. Still feeling my phone vibrate, I pulled it out and saw a text from Jovani.

Jovani

Aye. I love you. I know that shit soon and it sound like bullshit even coming out of my mouth but, I love your lil nerdy fine good pussy having ass. We gotta figure this shit out. My brother got some in house pussy and I’m tryna be on that same type of timing. Your apartment is too small, though, so you gotta move in with me. How you feel about that?

Locking the screen without replying, I couldn’t even make sense of Jovani’s text. I was still caught up on what I just watched.

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