Page 8 of Our Mother's Sons

“Damn, not even Ariel?”

“You know what I mean! That man isn’t just a fake flexer. He is paid out the ass. Now he had cameras and shit around the gates and whatnot but I was able to see enough. Only the rich live over there. Not only would I have given that nigga a dance but he would have been licking me from the front to the back and I would have done the same to him.”

“Ewww,” I fake gagged.

“What the hell were you and Riker doing over there?”

“Grown shit. You think he put a ring on it for nothing? But for real. I would have at least gotten the man’s number. Fine, paid and a big dick? Shit, I would have ran that light skinned ass nigga’s pockets at least.”

I’d sworn off the redbones. Nowadays, I like my man with a bit of melanin in his skin. The last light-skinned man I dated left me high and dry. Not only did he leave me, but his absence from my life, amongst other things, caused me to go into a deep depression. It had been nearly a year since he left and even though our relationship lasted a year before that, I still loved his ass. I loved him like I had never loved another man, and when I wouldn’t give in to his demands and move on his time, he left me. I vowed celibacy, and I promised myself I wouldn’t give another light-skinned man a second glance. That is, until last night.Fuck I gotta stop listening to Baela.

The sounds of the waves overlapping were nearly louder than Baela’s voice. Usually, I wouldn’t even be on the phone with her during my beach time, but she wouldn’t stop calling. She’d been itching to get the details of my one-night stand, but I wasn’t even on that type of time with him. Whoever he was.

“The night we shared was fun. I can’t lie like the nut wasn’t needed because it was. I hadn’t had sex in nearly a year. I almost forgot what the male parts felt like. I did enjoy myself, and him being attractive and paid made the experience much more pleasurable. The sex was great.”

So great, it moved me to tears.

“What’s the but? I hear one brewing,” Baela dragged.

“But, I’m going back to practicing abstinence. You and I both know that everything that looks good isn’t good. I want to heal and focus on moving forward. Men are the least of my worries.”Even if they are rich fine and got a big dick.

Baela grew quiet, and I knew that was because she chose her words carefully. My cousin, as overbearing as she was at times, meant well. She more than anyone knew the hell my life had been for the last year. Well, she knewmostof it. I was just now able to sleep through the night. I appreciated her for not kicking me when I was down and for not leaving me when I needed her the most. There had been days when I felt like I was losing my mind, and I vowed that I would never let a man make me feel that way again.

“Voyage, I hate what Dutton did to you. He left you without warning. It was bad enough that he was already living off of you! Broke ass nigga! Had we known he was capping with all of his uncle’s cars and clothes that nigga would have never made it to boyfriend status. He is a bum ass nigga. But fuck him. I’m here for whatever you need, and you know I would never leave you out to dry. I know my bored ass be pushing you to do some crazy shit and I apologize if I overstep but, I want to see you smile. You too fine to not have a nigga that’s not gone play about you. You deserve all the finer things in life, cousin, and I want that for you. Plus, you got up with Dutton the last time I let you choose your own lay. I told you that nigga looked like a fraud but the car and jewelry was throwing me. I want to beat his ass for catfishing us both.”

Even though tears had sprouted from my eyes from being overwhelmed with emotion, I couldn’t fight the laugh. Baela had always been suspicious of Dutton Chester. By the time we found out he was broke and living off his uncle, who was a retired dope boy, it was too late; I was already in love. Silly fucking me. Then, I let him convince me to get an apartment way above my means, knowing he wasn’t contributing to it. With the lack of funds came the lying, the cheating, the fighting, all the while I’d suffered from depression since I was a kid.

It started when my mother died and has never gone away. Baela’s mom and mine were sisters who were the ultimate party girls. They dumped their responsibilities on their mother and ended up being at the wrong place at the wrong time, and were shot and killed. That did something to me. My grandmother didn’t know how to deal with my depression, so she signed me up for counseling. My therapist had me on meds, but sometimes they wouldn’t work. When Dutton found my pill bottles, instead of being supportive, he made fun of me and threw them in my face. To add insult to injury, he left me because I wouldn’t let him get me pregnant. We were in no position to get pregnant, but Dutton didn’t want to hear that. He packed up all the shit I’d bought him, left me with the high ass rent and a broken heart and I hadn’t seen him since.

“That nigga lost his mind thinking you was about to get pregnant when he knew-”

“Baela, I get it. Dutton was a loser. You most definitely pick out all the good ones while I pick out the inconsiderate bums.”

“Cousin,” her voice softened. “I’m not trying to point fingers and boast I told you so’s. I want to see you happy, that's all. Even if it will take some time to return to normal, I want to see you smile. You know, out of all people, I ain’t rushing you to get in a relationship. Last time you were in one, I only saw you on FaceTime. You know I’m lonely.” She chuckled.

It was true. The year I was with Dutton, I all but stayed up under his ass. He didn’t want me going anywhere unless it was work, and that didn’t last long as he convinced me to work from home. Baela was over bearing but she wasn’t that damn overbearing so she never pulled up on me unannounced. She just took whatever I gave, and now looking back, that wasn’t fair. Her man had only been in jail a few months at the time, and she needed me. Still, I turned my back on her. I regretted so many things from my last relationship, and that was one of them. I should never have shut my big cousin out.

“When Riker gets out, you're going to pay me back and ghost me,” I joked, but the thought of it low-key spooked me. She was all I had, and losing her would be the end for me.

Baela yawned, “Girl, please. Riker knows what it is with me. I know how to lick balls at night and hang with my cousin during the day.”

“You’re licking more than balls.”

“Bitch please. Have you seen my nigga?”

Riker was fine but he wasn’t that damn fine.

“Anywho, I’m possessive, so don’t answer that. But take your ass away from the ocean Orca and walk to the car. I’m getting sleepy and want to make sure you get in safely before I hit this king. You know my shifts start tomorrow. They say working in a nursing home is easier than a hospital, but I digress. These hoes spend more time on their asses charting than working.”

Taking one last look at my peace, I emerged from the water, tied my damp skirt in a side knot, and made the short walk to my towel and shoes. Once my feet were dried, I dusted the sand from the fabric, folded it, tucked it under my arm, and crossed my purse over my body. I wasn’t worried about anyone harming me because crime was few and far here in the midtown area. Just in case there was an incident, I had mace.

Depression still kicked my ass a little but, I’d come a long way. There were still days I cried and couldn’t get out of bed, but for the most part, I was holding it together. That two-thousand-dollar rent Dutton left me with, plus the car note, I could now pay with ease. It was as if, as soon as I started hitting my knees and praying, things started turning around for me. When I thought eviction would swoop in and kick my ass out, I got the store manager job at the book store making sixty five thousand a year and even though it wasn’t much to some it was more than enough for me. I was able to pay my rent and car note, but I still have money left over. I was comfortable, even though I did have days when I wished my circumstances were different. That man had done a number on me, and I knew even though he was out of my life, he'd made a mark that forever changed me. The dick I got was a good distraction out of miseryville but the fact remained that a man had taken me to my lowest and I would never let another one do that again. I wasn’t a bitter male hater but it was Fuck love.

“Cousin. You really was eating Riker’s ass?”

Chapter4

Jovani “Von” Bendetti

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