Page 10 of Life After Levi

I shrug while maneuvering toward the diner. “The diner in Maggie Valley is pretty good, too, but she’s partial to this one for some reason.”

“No worries,” he replies, smiling at me.

Flustered, I focus on my driving so I don’t have to examine the feelings coursing through me. I know I’m still alive and I also know from something Levi put in the first notebook that he doesn’t want me to go through life alone.

“Em, if something ever happens to me, just know that I left this world loving you. I don’t want you to mourn me forever, either! You’re young, beautiful, and the best person I know. Find love again, sweetheart, or I’ll figure out how to cross the veil and haunt you until you do!”

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, I um, opened the box, as you know, and Levi had two composition notebooks inside. I read part of one of them and something he said crossed my mind.”

“I’m willing to listen if you need me to,” he offers. “In fact, I have to admit, there were times I was jealous of you because you got to know so many other sides of him that he didn’t freely share with the rest of his teammates.” He blushes then adds, “Notthatside of course, but the one where he could be less serious and more easygoing if that makes sense. We were always in battle mode for lack of a better term.”

I know he can’t say much about any of their missions simply because of who they were to the Navy, so I simply nod. “I was kind of jealous that you got to be with him at the end,” I whisper.

He clears his throat several times and I see him swipe below his eyes. Reaching over, I grab his hand and squeeze it. “I’m sorry for bringing that up,” I tell him, grateful that Levinia is focused on the song on the radio so she’s not paying attention to us.

“No, it’s okay. You… you were the only person on his mind at the end,” he says, glancing back at Levinia. “He said… he said to tell you that he loved you more than all the stars in the sky, and he was sorry he broke his promise to you because he wasn’t coming home.”

I can’t help the tears that start to flow at his words and I’m grateful that we’ve just pulled into the parking lot at the diner because otherwise, I would’ve probably wrecked my car.

“Mama, why are you crying?” Levinia asks, suddenly back with the two of us as the car has stopped and is parked.

“I told her something your daddy wanted me to,” Damien admits. “How about I help you get out, Levinia, and we’ll go get the best table in the diner while your mama has a few minutes to herself.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, reaching into my console for some napkins to mop up the tears that won’t stop flowing down my face. “Vinnie, you know what I like to drink, can you order it for me, please?” I ask, my voice slightly stronger, which isn’t saying much at all.

“Yes, Mama! Come on, Damien, let’s go,” Levinia replies, bouncing in her carseat.

He swipes a finger down my cheek and says, “I’m sorry I caused this.”

“No, it’s not your fault. I promise it happens at random times, even all these years later,” I tell him.

* * *

Thankfully,I was able to calm myself and we ended up having an absolute blast in Maggie Valley. I don’t think I’ve laughed so much or so hard in a very long time. Both of us have taken countless pictures and several times, Damien stopped strangers to get them to take one of the three of us.

“Today was a lot of fun, Emerie,” Damien says as we leave Maggie Valley’s Candy Valley Enterprises after spending a good portion of the day in the Wheels Through Time Museum. He’s got several bags of candy that he said he ‘had to try’ as well as souvenirs of our adventures, including pictures of us playing miniature golf. My SUV also holds other treasures we’ve both found as we meandered our way through some of the small stores. Most of them are familiar to me since I live in the area but seeing Damien’s enjoyment made it far from boring.

“I had a good time too,” I admit, carrying Levinia, who has exhausted herself. “I think she did as well.”

He chuckles before saying, “I should carry her and let you get the bags. Here, let’s swap.”

Without conscious thought, I hand over my daughter, brushing back the wispy curls from her sweat-dampened forehead, then take the bags from him. “Hmm, you might’ve gotten the better deal,” I tease, acting like the bags are heavier than Levinia, which causes him to laugh.

“She’s a beautiful little girl, Emerie,” he tells me as we make our way to my SUV.

“I’m pretty fond of her,” I state, giggling. “Even though for the first six months I thought I was gonna go out of my mind. She was a night owl, which worked well for my shift, of course, but then she had colic. Nothing I did and none of the tricks my mom or Miriam gave me worked.”

“How did you get her to finally settle?” he asks as he gently puts her in her carseat then gets her buckled in, all without her waking up.

“Totally by accident, actually. Miriam had one of Levi’s old stuffed animals, and one evening, she was watching her while I was at work, and she was straightening his room when Levinia started screaming. She ran to pick her up and still had that panda bear in her hands and as soon as the baby felt it against her arm, she calmed down. Any time Miriam tried to move it, she started up again, so we let her have it.”

“Huh,” he murmurs. “But he never even knew about her, right?”

I shake my head as I move to get into the driver’s seat. “No, I would’ve told him in my next letter, but we got the notification of the accident first.”

He reaches out and clasps my hand in his. “I’m so sorry, Emerie. I know I’m a piss-poor substitute for him, but I hope you’ll let me visit again in the future.”

---