Page 17 of Life After Levi

“Well, the pillowcase for starters. It’s a picture of her chicken, Em!”

I start snickering because I had it made for her for Christmas last year and if it wasn’t for the fact I bought several, I’d be in trouble whenever it had to be washed because it’s the only one she’ll use. I know he didn’t see the one on her bed, which makes me laugh harder.

“She loves that chicken, Damien. When I found a company online where I could make pillowcases with any picture I wanted, I chose that photograph, then had multiple made because she is obsessed with the darned thing.”

“But the lamp too? It’s an exact replica of Bonnie,” he adds, chuckling.

“Thank Miriam for that little gem. She enjoys doing ceramics and since Dale encourages her, she took a picture of Bonnie then had one of her friends use a 3D printer to make a mold of the chicken. She then poured it, tossed it in the kiln, then painted it once it was ready to go. Dale turned it into a lamp. It definitely doesn’t match my aesthetics at all, but she loves it too.”

He clears his throat several times in an attempt to get himself under control, but when he slides his hand under the pillow, and I hear the squawk of the rubber chicken that Vinnie sometimes sleeps with, I burst into a hiccupping round of giggles. It doesn’t look like Bonnie, thank goodness, but one of Pappy’s friends gave it to her, so it’s another one of her treasures.

“You knew it was there, didn’t you?” he flippantly accuses while I try to hold my breath to get rid of the hiccups. If it doesn’t work, I’ll be heading to the kitchen for some sugar.

“No,” I gasp out, finally running out of air. Hopefully, I don’t start up again. “She usually takes it with her, to be honest.”

“Good thing I’ve got a strong heart,” he teases, “otherwise, that would’ve scared the hell out of me.”

“Miriam’s working on sewing a Bonnie look-alike for her birthday,” I confess. “She dotes on that chicken, that’s for sure. So, while I’m upset that I’ve got to work so much, and also get my clinicals done, I know she’s in good hands.”

“Maybe they won’t mind if I stop over,” he muses. “I mean, they’ve got the pool and the hot tub which will help me with the exercises I’m supposed to keep doing.”

“I’ll reach out tomorrow,” I reply, a huge yawn escaping me.

“Come here, Emerie, and let me hold you. We need to get some sleep if we’re going to be busy tomorrow.”

I nod through my closed eyes, secretly thrilled to be in his arms. While butterflies swarm in my belly, there’s also a layer of contentment there too. It’s as if Levi hand-picked Damien just for me or something.

* * *

I walk awayfrom Levi’s grave to give Damien some time alone. My shoulders are hunched as I force my feet to keep moving forward. It’s a trip I’ve made many times, as have our families, as well as Levi’s childhood friends and his brothers in arms. Levinia also comes regularly, so there are pennies from us lining the top of his gravestone. Some of Dale’s military buddies have come by as well to pay their respects.

“I really like him, Levi,” I whisper to the wind. A comforting breeze blows up nearby as if Levi is caressing me and I see a cardinal on a tree branch that’s not far from the bench we had erected in his memory. “Did you send him to me?” I often wonder if he sends me signs to let me know if he approves of things or not.

I don’t expect a verbal answer, of course, so when the cardinal makes a trilling sound, it sends a longing through me I didn’t expect. I know I told Damien I want to take things slow between us, so it’s strange to me that whenever Damien’s around, I find myself wishing that I had just said we’d see where this feeling took us instead of placing a phantasmal timeline on it.

“Are you ready to go?” he asks, interrupting my thoughts. I glance at him and see his eyes are suspiciously wet, which frequently happens to me as well.

“Yeah. What do you want to do now?” I ask.

“How about we explore Possum Creek a little more?” he suggests. “I found a really neat store that I’d like to check out further.”

“The holiday shop?” I question. “It’s my favorite.”

“I bought my sister an ornament. Figured when I headed out there, I’d give it to her, you know?”

I nod and say, “Levinia gets at least one new ornament every year. That way, when she’s grown and on her own, she’ll have a good stash.”

“That’s what I do for Dena,” he exclaims.

“Miriam suggested it because that’s what they did for Levi. She has them set aside for Vinnie,” I tell him.

“I love that tradition,” he admits. “It’s something I plan to do when I have my own family.”

“Well, just be careful about starting traditions,” I warn. “Because now I have to come up with different things every year for Levinia’s elf to get into.”

“Elf? What is that about?” he asks as we walk toward my car.

“Okay, you know how parents will say, ‘The elves are watching’?” I ask, hitting my key fob to unlock the doors. Once we’re both inside and buckled, I continue talking. “Some genius decided to create The Elf on the Shelf and parents fell into the trap. The stupid thing shows up at Thanksgiving and every single day, he does something different and unusual. Or she, since Levinia has a girl elf named Gingersnap. Sometimes, she makes a mess while fixing breakfast, sometimes she brings a little gift if Levinia’s been behaving, but it’s a ton of work for me to come up with different scenarios. The elf isn’t allowed to be touched or it loses its magic and on Christmas Eve it heads home for the North Pole.”

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