Page 32 of Tequila Tuesdays

“Hello to you too. I’m doing well, thanks for asking,” she answered.

“I’m good, you’re good. Now you need to come home for Thanksgiving.”

“I can’t. And what you meant to say is you don’t want to do Thanksgiving alone with Mom.”

“Isn’t that what I just said?” I asked.

“No. You said ‘I don’t want to do Thanksgiving without you’ end quote. A subtle but important difference. Details matter—in contracts and in life.” She was quoting one of my dad’s favorite legal sayings. I rolled my eyes but smiled.

There was a reason Thanksgiving was my least favorite holiday; our dad had died the day after Thanksgiving, and Ava fell apart shortly afterward. I’d met the funeral director and planned the funeral without Ava since my dad’s brother, Keith, lived overseas and Ava didn’t have any close family.

The funeral director had enlisted his wife to help me, and she ended up holding and comforting me while I sobbed uncontrollably the morning of the funeral. I sent them a Christmas card every year.

I huffed. “Okay, I should have said I don’t want to do Thanksgiving at all,especiallynot with Ava. And I miss you and want to see you.”

“I miss you too, Har. Sometimes I get mopey and a little lonely too. No one knows me here, or my dark side.”

“Your dark side being your creepy love of horror and slasher films?”

Olivia laughed. “My roommates know all about that. A few of us aren’t wimpy babies, and we have a scary movie night.”

“I honestly can’t think of anything I’d rather do less.”

“At least I don’t watch weird, brain-warping indie movies. How’s Mom doing, anyway?”

I thought about it. “She’s golfing a lot and still does her meditation golf videos. Addiction-wise I think she’s hanging in there.”

“Have you seen any signs she’s using again?” she asked.

Olivia and I learned long ago to be completely honest with each other when it came to our mother. Ava tried to triangulate and gaslight us after Dad died, but we’d quickly learned to work together since we didn’t want to end up in foster care or with a dead mother.

“She’s drinking alcohol again. It seems minor, but it worries me.”

“What about you two?”

I blew out a breath. “She’sstillpissed about Gary, and she’s edgier lately. She lashed out at me in front of everyone when I took her to a friend’s birthday brunch. Luckily, Grace and Sheila were there.”

And Damien, but I didn’t say that out loud. I wondered what he was doing for Thanksgiving. I explained to Olivia what had happened at the restaurant.

She groaned. “Holy shit. I’m sorry she did that to you. I wonder what triggered it?”

I hummed. “I don’t know. Maybe she’s tired of us watching out for her.”

“Are you still watching over her accounts and paying her bills?”

“She’s paying her bills now. I still check on her accounts and balance them, just not as often. But I’m tired, and I don’t know how much longer I can do this.” A tear slid down my cheek, and I wiped it away, annoyed at myself.

Olivia sniffed. “I know, Har. I’m almost done here, then I’ll come and help.”

If I were a bigger person, I’d tell her not to worry about us and go live her life. I settled for a half-answer. “We’ll be fine, Ollie. I’m just being whiny.”

“I can take over the financial part though. Mom and I can FaceTime, and I can manage her accounts online. Let me do that at least.”

So I agreed to transfer that burden to Olivia. We’d been watching Ava’s accounts since we found out she’d maxed out her credit cards and gone through her savings less than a year after my dad died. Luckily, most of their assets had been tied up in retirement accounts and their home.

I’d silently cried myself to sleep so many times during those high school years as I tried to keep what was left of my family together. Thinking about the past made me feel bruised and guilty.

Early Thanksgiving morning, I took Gary on a hike at the Mission Creek Preserve. The Preserve allowed dogs, and it was one of the more interesting hikes in the area with the remains of several old stone cottages left over from an old dude ranch in the 1920s. I also needed to clear my head and recalibrate before Thanksgiving dinner.

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