“I do not mean that, and you know it.” She laughed. “I mean our marriage. What will we do about that?”
“We will go home, and we will start again, completely anew if you wish. We can pretend none of this ever happened, and that we are newly married and very happy, indeed.”
Diana shifted awkwardly. “I do not want that,” she whispered. “It might be easier, to be sure, but it is not what I want.”
“Whyever not?”
“Because,” she said steadily, taking a deep breath, “to start anew and pretend that none of this ever happened would mean pretending that you and I have never had a history, and in such a short time we have done so much, overcome so much, and I cannot, I do not want to, pretend that none of it ever happened. To ignore the bad means I have to ignore all of the good, all of the support, all of the love?—”
She stopped herself, but she had already said too much. The Duke bristled behind her, tensing up.
“I apologize,” she said quickly, about to pull away from him, but he held her gently in place.
“No,” he said quickly, turning her to face him. “It is I who must apologize to you for not saying this sooner. I have known for a long time, but I could never find the words to say it. Diana, when you left to find Samantha, you took a part of me with you. I have spent so long trying to bury my feelings, hoping that they would subside so that I could give you your freedom, and when I thought I had lost you, I tried to tell myself that it was for the best and that I had to let you go, because that is what one must do when one loves another, and I love you, Diana.”
Colin seemed just as surprised to have said those words as Diana had been.
“What I mean to say,” he continued, trying to collect himself, “is that I did not want to lose you, but I wanted you to do what youneeded, and if that was without me, then I thought I could live with that. When I lost you, though, I realized that I cannot, and there is nothing on Earth that could change that. I need you, Diana, and though you may never feel the same, I want you to know that I will give my life to make you happy. That is all I want.”
“And this is all I want,” she whispered, before closing the gap between them entirely by placing her lips on his.
She froze for a second, just a second, because the last time she had wanted this, he had rejected her, but this time he pulled her even closer, and just for a moment, she forgot about every bad thing that had ever happened to her.
When they eventually pulled apart, she was dizzy and breathless and fell into his arms. It was as though she were still wearing a tight corset, although she knew that her husband had already helped her out of that situation.
“What happens now?” he asked.
“We sleep,” she replied, “and then, tomorrow, we will figure out what happens next, but I know that we can do that because you love me, and I love you.”
CHAPTER 30
“The two of you seem well rested.” Samantha beamed as they went down for breakfast that morning.
“On the contrary,” Diana whispered to her, “we hardly slept at all.”
“Well, regardless of what the two of you were doing last night, you seem a lot happier.”
Dian could not help but agree. As she ate, Colin and Samantha began a discussion about science that she did not completely understand, but she did not feel a need to. She hardly even listened; she was simply happy that they were there and they were safe and they were happy.
“Now,” Colin said suddenly, “I hate to dampen things, but I must know, Samantha, what you want me to do.”
“What do you mean?”
“I will speak with your father, and I need to know what you want so that I can have it happen.”
“I do not wish to marry,” she said quietly. “Anything else is up to you.”
“Then it shall be done, I promise you.”
“You are welcome to stay with us, of course,” Diana offered once again.
“That is too kind, Sister. I must stay with Father, at least until our half-brother appears, and then I shall see, but for now I must stay there.”
“Your loyalty to that man shall forever puzzle me.”
“It shall do the same to me, but it is not in question. He has always needed us far more than we have needed him, after all.”
The two ladies laughed gently and then finished their breakfasts before they boarded one of the carriages and returned to the manor house.