Page 35 of The Replacement Duchess

“No! Stay. It is quite alright, I would rather you did not go out in this weather for no reason. You and I can discuss a few matters if that is alright with you.”

“I suppose so. In which case, you played pianoforte with me, and so I should like you to teach me something about your passions.”

“Well, what would you like to know about?”

“What would you like to talk about?”

Diana could not stand it. What was worse was that she couldn’t understand why it hurt her so much. He was her betrothed, to be sure, but they would only ever be friends. He was not hers, and she was not his, and such an arrangement was supposed to make matters less complicated, and now…

Now she was making it difficult, and all because she wanted the two of them to be closer.

Can you never be happy? What will it take for you to just be happy?

Perhaps Samantha was right, and none of this was a good idea and it was better to wait outside. It was cold, and Diana knew that it was cold, but that didn’t change a thing. She could not be there another moment, listening to the two of them talk and laugh as if she were not there at all. It made her nauseous.

Frankly, the cold rain was the better option.

It was almost soothing, feeling the icy water hit her skin and soak into her clothes. It was something that she shouldn’t have been doing, and it made her feel better, but she was realizing that this had been a trend of late. The sister that had always toed the line was now doing anything but that, but instead of making her feel more in control, she had never felt less in control in her life.

Such a feeling was only made worse the following morning when she awoke with a terrible pain in her head and a weakness spreading throughout her body. It was the worst pain she had been in since the week after the fire.

“You are such a fool.” Samantha laughed at her bedside.

That was certainly how Diana felt, in any case.

“Where is the Duke?” she asked. “I believe I require a word with him.”

“He will not be coming today,” Samantha said gently. “He spoke about you a lot yesterday, though. Fear not, he will come back. What did you wish to speak with him about?”

“It is nothing, Sister. It is nothing for you to hear, at least, not for now.”

“Very well, I shall not pry. What happened to you yesterday? I was going to go looking for you, but you seemed so disinterested in speaking with me that I thought it best to leave you.”

“You were correct in such an assumption. I needed time, that is all.”

“And what you certainly did not need was to act as I did and go out in the rain. You always have gotten ill far easier than I. You should not take the sorts of risks that I do. It is not the same at all.”

Diana sneezed, and it was all the agreement that she needed to convey.

“Why did you go outside?”

“I do not know,” she lied. “I suppose I had had quite enough of being inside all day, and that a short while would not do any harm.”

“Well, it certainly did, but it is nothing that you cannot handle. You shall be right as rain in the morning, I assure you.”

“You are slightly too optimistic, Sister.”

Diana wondered if it was optimism that she might have had one day a long time ago, not that she could remember any time at all where she did. Then again, it was thanks to Diana that Samanthawas able to hope and dream at all, even if there was a harsh reality incoming that neither knew what to do with.

“This will all be alright, won’t it?” Samantha asked.

“Of course. It is only a small ailment. It is as you say, I shall be fine by morning.”

“I do not mean your ailment. I mean your marriage. You will not be leaving me behind, will you?”

“I am not worried at all that I will have to leave you behind. I am more worried that you will be bright and beautiful forever and be the one to leave me.”

“That cannot happen. It will not. I need you far too much for that.”

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