“But I do,” she sighed. “I was supposed to be Samantha’s protector. I was supposed to mentor her, teach her everything that was necessary for her to succeed in all of the ways that I did not, and now here I am as a duchess, and there she is with no desire to marry, in a small and unorganized house, with the drunkard that we are forced to call our father. It is not fair.”
Colin had been of the same opinion about her father, of course, but even so, he was quite surprised that she would speak of him that way. It was not the done thing to be so brutally honest aboutfamily. Then again, Diana had hardly ever cared for that sort of thing, from what he had seen.
“You must think me a horrible daughter,” she said, looking up at him.
“On the contrary. I think you have been more than that man has ever deserved. Who else would see their father in the state he got himself into each night and still go to the trouble of caring for him?”
“It is my duty.”
“It was mine, too, but had my father been anything like yours to me, he would have received cold water in his face to wake him up and stern instructions to go to his bed.”
“As if he were some petulant child.” She laughed softly.
“Precisely. I may not know everything about his treatment of you, nor all of the good you did for him in spite of it all, but I know that you have given him far too much. If you wish to call him a drunkard, in the privacy of your own home and only to your husband, then you are welcome to do so. Be as cruel about him as you wish.”
“Do you truly mean that?”
“Of course I do. It might be good for you, too. Please just remember that I do not blame you at all for how you feelabout your father. You were a child, and he thrust all of the responsibilities of a mother onto you so that he did not have to do it himself. No matter how he ends up, he has only himself to blame.”
“But—”
“Diana, you did enough,” he pressed. “You could not have done any more for him. This was his choice to make, and it is not your fault, nor Samantha’s, that he has chosen this.”
The inclusion of her sister seemed to be what she needed to hear to accept this.
They finished their meal in silence, but it was a far more comfortable one than he had been expecting when he went down that evening. He had expected some sort of dispute, or that she would have an attitude with him, but she had not. She had been more than willing to admit what she had done and then apologize, but it was not what he had truly wanted.
It was not Diana’s nature to lie down and accept something if she did not like it. He knew that simply from looking at her. Truth be told, it did not make sense to him that she would simply apologize instantly and accept that it had been her fault, because it had not given him space to defend himself. Now, he felt as though he had been cruel, and that she was the one that had been wronged and then made to apologize, and even if he knew that that was not how it was, that was how it felt.
To put it simply, he felt like a monster.
“I would like to go out tomorrow,” she said suddenly. “A picnic. It is to be a nice day, and I should like to make the most of my newfound freedom.”
“That sounds wonderful. Will it be just the two of us?”
“I would like that.” She nodded. “There has been so much happening around us recently. I would like a moment where the two of us can simply have a pleasurable time together and enjoy each other’s company. Would that be alright?”
“It would be brilliant. It will also be a good time for you to meet my people if you wish. Then again, if you are hoping for a day where you need not be a certain way?—”
“No!” she squeaked. “No, that sounds perfect. I cannot wait to see them. Do you think that they will like me?”
“They will adore you. I am quite sure of it.”
And it was true. They would love the beautiful and kind new duchess that they had. His concern, however, was how they would receivehim.He had not been present in his role, and of course, there were several people who thought he was guilty of what he was thought to have done, and so it was entirely possible that they would not want him there.
Frankly, he did not wish to be there, but it was his duty, and Diana would be very much at home in a position ofresponsibility, and she would thrive and enjoy every moment, so he was more than willing to grin and bear it.
“Might we give the staff a day too?” Diana asked. “I know it is not the done thing, but I cannot bear the thought of them working all day in the heat, especially when we are not even there.”
“I can suggest it to them. It is likely that they will not wish to fall behind and have to work twice as hard the day after.”
“Then tell them that they may work slowly through it afterwards. There is no need for them to break their backs for me, and I doubt that you feel any differently.”
It was very clear to Colin, even if she had not gone into detail about it, that Diana had worked incredibly hard her entire life. She knew what it meant to need time away from it, and she knew what it was to have to catch up afterwards.
He truly had been given the perfect duchess, one who would not be afraid of working hard, but also one who knew when to take some time to breathe and enjoy life, especially the kind that they were afforded.
“Of course.” He nodded. “Very well. I shall speak with them this evening and see what they say.”