Page 32 of The Replacement Duchess

“Of course, it meant that I saved Samantha’s life. I thought my mother might have found a way out, you know. I remember staring at the door, willing her to walk through it, but she never did. She must have been so afraid.”

“If you ask me, I would say she felt pride and love for the two of you. I think she knew that you were going to take care of your sister no matter what happened, and now look where the two of you are. She would not regret it, I assure you.”

“I truly hope not. I can only hope that I have done enough, but with the way Samantha is refusing to marry, I wonder if I might have failed somewhere along the way. It devastates me.”

“If you have helped to raise a young lady that knows her own mind and is unafraid to speak it, then you have only succeeded. You ought to be proud of yourself, not chastising yourself. You could not have done anything more for her.”

“That is the problem. I could not have done more, but I still wonder if it was enough.”

“It was, I assure you.”

She hoped that he was right.

“So… your mother?”

“We do not know to this day. She was perfectly healthy, and then there was this illness that consumed her, and within the month she was gone. We never found out quite what it was.”

“That sounds awful. How was your father?”

“He never quite managed to understand his loss, not even the day he passed away. He would wander the household at times, according to my staff, searching for her. They say he was driven mad, but I do not wish to speculate.”

“Did you ever see him do it?”

“I was not there. That is the thing thatIregret. I ran away to my lodgings and never went back. I couldn’t face them. I knew that if I were there, there would be conversations that I did not wish to have and plans that I wanted no part in.”

“Plans?”

“The funeral. The burial. I could not do them. I tried to picture her there, and it felt wrong. To this day, I wonder what mighthave been different had I been there. My brother never spoke to me after, of course.”

“Brother?” she echoed once more. “You never mentioned a brother.”

“Older brother,” he said emptily, and that was all he needed to say.

Diana understood perfectly well how a title was passed on.

“Well, it appears we both have regrets,” she sighed.

“More than most, to be sure. Perhaps that is why I do not care what is said about me. Nobody is more judgmental of me than I am of myself. It is not something that I notice, in all honesty.”

“Surely you must, at least some of the time.”

“Some of the time, to be sure, but it is easier to pretend it is not happening. Ignorance is bliss, as they say.”

“I wish I could ignore my father.” She laughed softly. “He is behaving like a peacock.”

“He seems happy. I think it might be best not to question it and allow his happiness to become your own. Might you be able to do that?”

“I have certainly done more difficult things than that.”

“You have?”

“That may be a conversation for another time. I have told you quite enough for one day, I believe.”

“I could not agree more. I must admit, just now has been the first time that I have spoken of my family in what feels like forever.”

“This is why I do sometimes wonder if I want children at all.”

“Then we do not need to have any. That is quite alright with me.”

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