Page 61 of The Replacement Duchess

“Even if I have angered you?”

“Even if you have, although if I am being honest, you have not.”

Diana blinked at him, but he held her gaze. It was the truth; he was not angry with her, not anymore at least.

“The thing is,” he continued, “I have spent a long time telling you that you can trust me, and that what is mine will be yours. It is nobody’s fault but my own that I have not kept to that and hidden something from you.”

“But I did something behind your back.”

“And you have told me a few mere hours after. I do not punish honesty. You did it, and you seem remorseful, so I suppose you will not do it again.”

“No, Colin,” she said gently, “I will not. I feel far too dreadful about this as it is.”

“Then what is there to be angry about? The matter is settled. Do not worry yourself so.”

“Then might I ask why you did not want me to see it?”

Colin froze. No secrets, he had promised her, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to be honest with her. He was not lying outright, but even so, it felt like a betrayal. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t tell her.

“I do not wish to discuss it,” he said quietly. “It is from a painful time in my life. I cannot do it.”

He thought that she might argue, or that her temper might flare, but instead, she simply rested a hand on his arm, nodding.

“Very well. I will not pry. It is quite alright, I have seen what it was, and now that I know there is nothing sinister to it?—”

“Sinister?”

“What I mean to say is—well, it could have been anything, really.”

“Such as?”

He knew exactly what she meant from the way her face turned pale. She was not someone who believed the rumors, he hoped at least, but there would always be that small voice in the back of her mind tempting her with all sorts of questions, whether deliberate or not.

“We promised honesty,” she sighed. “It is no reflection of you, but when you were so quickly defensive about it, I wondered ifit might have pertained to what people have been saying about you.”

“That I am a murderer, you mean.”

“Yes,” she whispered. “And I do not believe it, of course. I would not have willingly married a man if I thought him capable of such a horrific thing, but my imagination got the better of me.”

“And now you are simply glad that it is not sinister?”

“The more I learn about you,” she explained, “the more that my belief is justified. You are not the man that you are made out to be. You are so much better than even those that hold you in the highest esteem believe.”

“That is far too bold a statement.”

“Is it? Colin, you found me and my sister, and you welcomed us with open arms. Do you know the relief to Samantha that she can escape here at any time she needs to? Do you know how well she has been sleeping since you and I met? You have not only rescued me but the one person that has been a constant in my life. We shall never be able to repay you for that.”

Colin smiled at this, but he couldn’t help but notice how she was not referring to herself. It was about how her sister felt once more. Frankly, he was unsure whether that was because she had only ever thought of her sister’s feelings rather than her own or because she did not wish to share her own. If it was the latter,he wondered whether that was because she had little to none at all, or that they were not at all what he would like to hear. Either way, he did wish to know, but he would not pry, not when he had just asked for that same respect from her.

“I am glad that you and your sister are comfortable,” he decided to reply. “I had not thought that I would ever allow someone to feel such a way. It is rather nice, I must admit.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“It is as you know, I never thought that I would marry. I certainly didn’t think that I would have a sort of marriage where my wife liked me, at least. It is quite the surprise, but a welcome one.”

“Indeed, although sometimes I do feel… almost ashamed of myself.”

“You have nothing to feel shame about.”

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