Page 58 of Her Wolf of a Duke

She nodded, and he left again. It had been one of their longer conversations, and that had been his choice. It was easier to keep their discussions short, else it would turn to the same thing he had heard all of his life. He was pestering her, and she would have had an easier life without him. He wondered if, once upon a time, she was a kind young lady that had a lot of love to give, but he couldn’t imagine her that way.

He couldn’t sleep that night. Each time he tried, he thought of Emma, and how he was going to cause her life to be completely miserable.

When he did fall asleep, the nightmares began. He was running in a forest, and Emma was chasing after him, calling his namewhile he ignored her and continued running. He was raising his voice at her, telling her to find more than him, but as he did so she fell. She did not get back up.

Eventually, morning came and he dragged himself from his bed, dressing himself at the last minute. He did not break his fast, for he did not feel capable of eating a thing. He boarded his carriage, unable to think of anything at all.

He waited at the altar, his heart pounding. He hoped that she would change her mind, and that she wouldn’t come at all, but then the guests rose from their seats and she entered the church. She was beautiful, and in spite of it all she was smiling. Her hand was on her father’s arm, and though there were no traces of pride or happiness, nor any of the other feelings one might expect from a man giving away his daughter, he seemed less bitter than usual.

Levi tried to see that as something good.

The ceremony passed, the guilt thick in his throat as he recited vows that he wouldn’t be keeping. He would not honor and cherish her. He would do his best by her, but he could not truthfully vow to always love her when he knew that he never would. Emma knew that too, and she looked at him sadly throughout it. He wondered who else in attendance would know how much of a farce it all was, but then he remembered the circumstances under which they were marrying, and he decided that most people knew.

“There,” she whispered to him when the ceremony had finished. “That wasn’t as bad as I had expected.”

He wondered just how bad she had expected it to be, but he thought better than to ask then and there. The wedding breakfast was beautiful, but again he could not eat anything. All that he truly wished to do was avoid his wife, but that was not easy when they had to greet their guests and thank them for attending. Emma looked at him a few times, as though she wished to say something, but she didn’t. At last, Miss Godwin arrived and Emma was distracted.

“Oh, Emma, this is all so beautiful,” she said. “I can only hope that my own wedding is half as lovely as this one day.”

“It will be. With any luck, you shall have longer to arrange things than we did.”

“I never would have guessed you had such little time, had I not been at the ball. Truly, it is perfect.”

“Then perhaps the Duke and I can help you with your preparations?” she offered lightly. “You know, you would not even need me. The Duke did practically all of this himself.”

“Did he?” Miss Godwin asked before turning to him. “Your Grace, you certainly have an eye for these things!”

“Thank you, Miss Godwin. You are welcome to visit us anytime, should you wish to see our home. I will be decorating it again soon, and if you care about that sort of thing you may be of help.”

“It would be an honor!”

She left, and Emma sighed, almost leaning into him as she was standing so close.

“It will be nice,” she said gently, “to return to our home. There is something so special about it being ours, don’t you think?”

“It shall be yours, more than anything,” he replied, and she looked at him as though he had drawn his pistol.

“What do you mean?”

“Because the home shall be yours to manage,” he replied quickly, not wanting to discuss the matter in front of their guests.

In any case, his response pleased her and she settled. He could see his mother sitting alone, and he wondered why she had asked to join them at all. She had not looked happy during the ceremony, and she still looked the very picture of melancholy sitting there. It was a miserable life, he thought, but that was partly of her own accord. She could have found joy for herself after his father passed, he thought, but she simply stayed in her wing, unwilling to do anything else.

“Is that your mother?” Emma asked, following his line of vision.

“Indeed. You and I must discuss her later.”

“If it is about her living with us, there is no need. I like that she will be there.”

He wondered if her mind was filled with dreams of having a mother figure again, and he ached that he would have to tell her that his mother had little interest in being perceived as a mother. He had to tell her, however; it was far better for him to do so than for his mother to take it on herself. He could at least tell her nicely.

“She tends to keep to herself, that is all.”

He decided that he could explain the rest of it some other time.

“Very well, she can continue to enjoy her own space. Truly, I do not mind at all.”

“You are being very agreeable. You may tell me if you are displeased by something.”

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