Page 69 of Her Wolf of a Duke

“Indeed. Though I will say, I heard the two of you playing the pianoforte very late.”

“My apologies. I had not thought that you would have been able to hear it.”

“I was wandering the hallway. You have no need to apologize, however, as I thought it was quite beautiful. You are certainly very talented.”

“Oh! No, it was not me playing, but Levi. He plays very well, does he not?”

Eloise pressed her lips together in a very tight and thin line.

“Yes, it would appear so.”

“You do not usually eat with me,” Emma continued, trying to change the subject. “What has inspired such change?”

“It is quite lonely in my wing. I thought we might both enjoy the company.”

“I certainly would, yes. In fact, I will be seeing the modiste today about a few gowns. Would you like to join me?”

The older lady’s eyes sparkled, and Emma knew at once that her invitation would be accepted. She felt a twinge of guilt, as she knew that the lady had mistreated the Duke, but she wanted to find a way to bring them together one day. Even if that never happened, it would be nice to have a friend there.

The modiste arrived that afternoon, armfuls of green fabric in tow. It was as if Eloise came alive, and at once she leaped into action, choosing the fabrics for each gown. They designed twenty in total, spending hours together deciding on them. The first would be delivered in time for the ball, and from there she would receive one per week.

When the modiste left, Eloise noticed a scrap that had fallen on the floor. It was a pale green silk, and she placed it on her lap and stroked it between her fingers. Emma watched her, pitying her for the life she had led. She would have had dreams, once, as any girl did, and instead she had been pushed into a life she never would have wished to lead.

“You know,” Eloise said gently, “I have not had a new gown in years now.”

“Did Levi never have any made for you?”

“Oh, he certainly offered, but I never accepted any. I did not think I was worthy of new things, not after how I have always treated him.”

“Do you… do you regret it?” she asked carefully.

“I do, in truth. I find it so difficult to be a mother to him, and I always have. I think about how I treat him, and I feel… I feel that I have failed in the one duty remaining to me. In truth, such thoughts have occurred more often now that you are here. I suppose that your being here, seeing him as someone worthy of being liked, possibly even loved, has proven to me that my treatment of him was my own fault.”

“It wasn’t solely you that was to blame.”

“But it was,” she smiled sadly, tears in her eyes. “I had many opportunities over the years to be a good mother, and to treat him like the child I had so wanted as a girl, but now I shall never have that chance.”

“You have that chance now, if you wish to take it.”

But the Dowager Duchess simply smiled sadly and shook her head.

“From what I have been told about him by my staff, and by you, I do not deserve a son like him, and even now I cannot believe how he has become the man he is. He should have become a tyrant, but… Well, I missed my chance to be a mother to him, and I cannot do anything about that not.”

“You can still change. You could do it even now. It does not matter that he is no longer a boy. Change can occur whenever one wishes to do it, after all. Why, I have changed so much of late that I would hardly recognize myself if I saw the lady I was a year ago.”

“You are fortunate for that. My issue is that I never did change. I had assumed, when my husband passed, that I might at last become the lady I had always wanted to be. I dreamed of being soft and gentle and kind, but it never happened. I still looked at my son with disgust, and I refused to leave the household the way that I always had.”

“Well, we could change that,” Emma suggested. “We could do it right now, and take a carriage into town.”

Eloise brightened for a moment, but then slumped once more, as if already defeated.

“I would love to, but I am afraid that it has been so long that I would not know my way.”

“I have never been, and so we shall be just as lost as each other! You never know, we may enjoy it. Even if you loathe it entirely, you can at least say that you tried. It would be an honor if you accompanied me.”

The Dowager Duchess made a few small noises to herself for a moment in thought, and then straightened herself.

“Very well,” she nodded. “I would love to.”

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