Page 144 of Bodybuilders for the BBW

When we got back down to the paddock, we’d collect all the food and supplies to bring up here. The CFS would need to be directed on where to come, as would the local band that volunteered to play. The opening day would begin in earnest and that had my breath catching in my chest. I nodded despite that.

“I’m ready.”

“Hey, I’m Mandie and I’m here at the Paws Dog Rescue up in the beautiful hills…”

My sister walked past me, talking into her phone, because apparently she was doing a live broadcast of the opening. She said it would help bring more people to the event, but I’m not sure we’d need it. Hours later there were cars, families, everywhere. Rhett and the CFS had created a mass of bubbles for the kids to play with, and still more were walking with their parents, meeting the puppies. Rhys had a clipboard in hand and was handing out applications for adoption.

None of the dogs were going anywhere until they were a little older and had their first shots, but it was good to have options. It was the savoury scent of a sausage sizzle that drew me closer. Nan was right. I’d barely stopped all day, and it was well past lunchtime. I went to join the line up in front of the food stall, but Garrett waved me forward.

“Milady.” He produced a sausage cooked to my exact specifications (not burned but not undercooked. Onions mounded on the top with sauce and mustard to follow). “How’s it going?” He looked out over the busy field outside the shelter. “I think by anyone’s standards, this has been a success.”

“Thank Mandie,” I said.

“Thank you.”

He looked suddenly serious as he put the tongs down and pulled me closer, but right as he went to kiss me, someone called out his name. An older woman approached with an apologetic smile on her face.

“I know you said you’re not interested, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to give you my business card.”

“Business card?” I asked him when she turned to rejoin her family. “What’s that about?”

“Nothing.”

He was going to scrunch it up, but I pulled it from between his fingers. That smile was gone, his eyes wary as I scanned the details.

“She works at the local hospital in HR.”

“That’s why it’s nothing.” He plucked it from my grip, but I grabbed his wrist.

“No, it's not.”

“Katie—”

“What does…” I looked over at the card. “Anne want to talk to you about?”

“We got chatting.” He picked up the tongs again and turned the sausages over. “She asked what brought me down here.” His gaze softened as he looked at me. “I told her you. She asked what I did for a living?—”

“And you told her you’re a nurse.”

“Was a nurse.” He worked to turn a bunch of sausages over, then stir the mass of cooked onions before dumping them into another pan, ready to be served. “That’s what I told her.”

“Am a nurse.” I hated the way he looked at me, as if waiting for me to slap him down. That was never the way this was supposed to be. He was caught up in a toxic vibe at his old hospital, but I never once thought he would give up nursing for good. My hand went to his arm. “You love nursing.”

“I love you.”

We both went still at that. We’d said it a bunch of times now, but it still created a frisson of shock each time I heard it.

“I love you too, and the two things aren’t mutually exclusive,” I insisted. He just shook his head, turning back to the sausages. “I mean not having to work for Nora would be a massive bonus.” That had him snorting. “Would you have to work in the emergency department and do all those crazy hours still?”

“No.” He smiled at the customer who paid for a sausage, putting their order together and handing it over. “Anne said they’re mainly looking for ward nurses. Regular hours, predictable shifts. Most of the emergencies go to bigger hospitals.” I watched him shrug. “I explained that I had pretty bad burnout from the last job, and she seemed to think that they could work with me on that.”

“So…?”

I wouldn’t let up even though there were a million things that needed doing. Sometimes there are moments, special ones, and you need to step up to meet them or lose the opportunity forever.

“I’ve learned my lesson,” Garrett insisted. “That giving everything you have means there isn’t enough left to survive. It’s seductive.” He set more sausages on the grill. “There’s this exhilaration that comes from total surrender of ego to the pursuit of healing. It’s this beautifully noble thing, but also really stupid. If I kept going as I was, I’d be left with serious mental health issues and the medical system would move on, finding new, idealistic nurses to take my place within a day.”

“So don’t do that,” I said. He frowned as he looked over at me. “Don’t give everything you’ve got.” Suddenly, I was a whole lot more confident, because this was familiar ground. “Work out what your boundaries are and stick to them no matter what. Don’t take responsibility for all the world’s problems, not when you need to focus on your own.”

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