Page 52 of Bodybuilders for the BBW

Mandie was sucking in a breath, ready to give me another of her famous tough love speeches, but I stopped her dead.

“They are looking after him. He’s just struggling with the adjustment. That dog’s been through a lot, you know. He?—”

“Was treated disgustingly by the people that owned him?” She shot me a meaningful look. “I know. Half the animals in that shelter you volunteer at are treated like crap, which freaking sucks, but…” Her hands came to land on my shoulders. “That doesn’t mean you have to be the one that saves them.”

“I’m not saving him.” That came out way grumpier than I intended and she shook her head as I pulled away. “I’m just going around to take him for a walk, make sure he’s eating and drinking, and then it’s weepy movie marathon time, promise.”

“I’m holding you to that,” Mandie said, waving her finger in my face. “If I have to come around to the guys’ house and drag you away from that dog, I’ll do it too.”

I just waved to her as I walked down the hall, towards the front door.

Are we still on for this afternoon?I saw Garrett’s text as I started packing away my stuff, vacating the front desk at the vets to let my colleague take over.Bronson’s a lot better.This was followed by a photo of the dog sitting pretty on his legs in the backyard.Still misses you though.

A man could say a lot of things, but it felt like that was what it took to get my attention. I said goodbye to my workmates and then headed for the door. My eyes were on the phone, analysing the photo, looking for signs that Bronson was really starting to relax. Ears back, mouth open, and panting in a big doggy smile, limbs loose, he was?—

“Oh!”

Holy shit, I was so damn focussed on the phone I almost collided with some poor woman. She blinked, understandably pissed, as she stepped back and looked at me pointedly.

“Oh my god!” I gasped. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention and?—”

“Babe.” That masculine voice had me stiffening. I didn’t need to think about who it belonged to, though he’d never used that kind of tone with me. “I’ve got Fifi, and…” Dave’s voice trailed away, and he stared just like I did. “Huh.” I watched him straighten, the little pink dog carrier incongruous in his grip, but Dave didn’t blush or look embarrassed. Instead, his gaze hardened as he looked me up and down. “Forgot you worked here.”

He glanced up at the vet sign, as if to confirm that I did not change workplace just on the off chance I’d run into him again. Not bloody likely. I’d literally rather walk over hot coals than deal with him. I took in the too-long hair, the stubbly chin, and the bags around his eyes and wondered what the hell I saw in him.

The girl he was with obviously wanted to know the same thing.

“Who’s this?”

She pointed a finger at me like I was an animal on display in the zoo, not a living, breathing person.

“This?”

That cruel smile, the way he slung his free arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer, it was weird to see. It felt like ten years had passed since I’d been the recipient of his hugs, his smiles. And I didn’t want to be now, either, that hit me hard. I felt that unconscious sense of revulsion one might feel if faced with a bucket filled with vomit. I felt no sympathy, no loss and also no loyalty, so I answered for him.

“We used to hook up,” I told her baldly, rewarded by the sight of her eyebrows shooting up to her hairline. “Not that long ago. I was his regular booty call, I guess.”

“When?” She asked Dave that, not me. “When we started?—?”

“What? No, of course not, babe.”

It wasn’t his denial that stabbed deep, nor the way he looked at her. Right now, he was proud for the world to see him with his girl, and why not? She was conventionally pretty. Far too pretty for him, really. Now that I was looking closely, I could see the stains on his shirt, smell the sour stench of beer wafting off him and the way his shirt was starting to stretch over a softer belly. No, it was the part of me wondering what the hell I was doing wasting my time with him.

“Katie’s just a friend,” he said, hopeful that would pass as an explanation.

“Not a friend.” My voice was as flat and hard as a sword’s blade. “Absolutely not a friend, girlfriend or otherwise.” I swallowed hard, my mouth filling with bile. “Actually, I’m nothing to him at all.”

I didn’t dream of this moment. There were no revenge fantasies to entertain because I just didn’t give a shit about him, so I moved past them, walking towards my car. I heard some muffled voices, hers getting shrill, his deeper, louder, but they didn’t matter.

I did.

For a second, I felt it, something I kept stuffed way too far down. A throbbing sense of myself that was irritated, then outraged, by the bullshit Dave pulled. He thought he was the shit, and I wasn’t worthy of him, but really…

He wasn’t worth mine or any woman’s time.

Perhaps this is what it felt like when your shackles were unlocked and fell away, because that’s what my mind did. I’d carried around the weight of his rejection, and why would I do that? Some people thought I was wasting my time working at the shelter, that I should’ve had some kind of side hustle going to get ahead, but helping animals made me happy and I dismissed their poor opinion without a second thought.

I could do that with Dave.

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