Page 63 of Bodybuilders for the BBW

“Alright, here goes.” I opened the timer on my phone and started it. “Five minutes on firefighting.”

I wasn’t going to talk about the recent changes in firefighting appliances. Even fellow firies got bored of that shit, so I settled on this.

“When I was a kid, like almost every other young Aussie boy, I wanted to be a firefighter. Unlike every other guy, I was obsessed.” She snorted at that, but stayed quiet as I continued. “Fire engine bed sheets. Wouldn’t accept any other LEGO sets other than the city ones with fire engines in it. WatchedFireman Samon repeat on TV. By the time I was ten, I could recite the names of every firefighting appliance used by the Australian firefighting service both currently and historically.”

Her eyes widened, and I knew then that this was the moment I killed any opportunity of getting another date. Shit, in for a penny, in for a pound, or so my mum used to say.

“Other boys grew out of it. I pestered my parents to take me to every single open day the local fire station held. When firies came to school, I was there quizzing the firefighters about the differences in the appliances while all the other kids were climbing the fire engine or tooting the horn. I knew how tough it would be to get into the service. Plenty of fit blokes think they’d be a great fit for the job. It’s how I met Rhys and Garrett. I started going to the local gym as soon as I was old enough, building my frame, my muscles, trying to guarantee that I’d make it through the physical exam and studying guides to make sure I’d pass the rest.”

“Whoa…”

This is why I didn’t date. When I started packing on the muscle, girls started to hang around at school, but then I’d go and ruin my chances by opening my mouth. I took a long sip of my beer, the bitterness a perfect counterpoint to what I felt.

“You’ve always known what you wanted to do?” I nodded. For some reason, people thought that weird. Apparently, working out what you wanted to do was supposed to be this circuitous journey, not a straight line. “Me too.”

My eyebrows jerked up.

“You always wanted to work as a receptionist?”

She smiled as she shook her head.

“Not a receptionist. Does anyone feel called to deal with difficult customers? Nope, animals. I wanted to be a vet.”

“Are you still studying?”

There was so much I didn’t know about Katie and that was killing me. Something about her pricked at me, demanding I research her, learn her, just like I did all aspects of the fire service.

“No.” I watched her shoulders droop. “You have to get perfect score in year 12 to study veterinary medicine and I got close, but not close enough. But animals? I was the same. My gran bought me a book about dog breeds. It illustrated each one and discussed their temperaments, characteristics. I had every single breed memorised and could identify them by the time I was ten.”

She turned to Hoppy, who was watching this exchange with interest.

“Like the Samoyed is a spitz breed.” I shook my head, not knowing what that meant. “It’s the curly tail thing. Akitas, Siberian Huskies, Malamutes, Shiba Inu, they’re all spitz dogs. Different bodies, different temperaments, and different regions they originated in, but yeah, they are classified as part of the same category.”

Did Katie talk to Dave about this sort of thing? I couldn’t imagine him sitting down and listening to anyone, let alone her.

“That’s why you work as a receptionist and volunteer at the shelter,” I said. “To be close to animals.”

“Animals are easy.” She reached over and ruffled Hoppy’s fur and the dog leaned into her hand, obviously enjoying every bit of it. “What they want and need, it's really easy to work out. If they aren’t enjoying a scratch behind the ear.” Hoppy shifted his head then so she could reach under his chin. “They let you know. Food, shelter, stimulation, and comfort, that’s all they want and I…” Her eyes slid sideways. “I know exactly where I stand with them. People are way more complex.”

“I can be simpler.” Fire was an unpredictable thing. In some ways it drove me mad, trying to keep in front of it. But there were times when every sense was engaged as I watched how the flames, the wind shifted, and moved accordingly, lest we all get killed. My heart would race so damn hard, pumping adrenaline through me and that’s exactly how I felt right now. “I know you don’t want to talk about Dave.” Her smile faded and she pulled away from the dog. “But I’d love to know what made you keep hanging out with him.”

“Here’s your pizzas.”

I nearly snapped at the poor server. Katie was about to say something, but the woman swept in, placing the pizzas before us.

“Thank you,” my date said as the server pulled away.

I’d killed the conversation dead. Smothered the fire before it got a chance to spark. I grabbed a piece of pizza, knowing it’d taste like cardboard, and nearly choked on it when she finally spoke up.

“I don’t know.” A long, shuddering sigh and then she forced herself to go on. “No good reason, that’s the easy answer, but the harder one?” She met my gaze and I refused to flinch away from the pain there. “I settled for him because he was easy. He was there, would ring me up, even if it was two in the morning and just for a hookup. I didn’t have to decipher any subvocal cues, date him and pretend to be someone I wasn’t, just to catch his eye. He sucked, wasn’t worth a second of my time, and yet I gave him far too much of it because that was the path of least resistance.” She picked up a piece of pizza, staring at it for a second. “But not anymore. I’d rather be on my own than let someone treat me like that.”

“Or with someone who’ll treat you better?”

I hung on her answer like I did the shift in the wind the meteorologists predicted would come.

“Someone better?” Part of me loved the way her back snapped straight, her eyes sparking with a fire I wanted to fan into out of control flames. “Someone who actually wants to be around me, that likes me for who I am, who’s willing to put the time and energy into getting to know me?” Her eyes slid sideways, looking out the big open doors to the lake beyond. “Yeah, that. I’m pretty much not interested in getting together with anyone without that.”

“I’m in.” That was not what I intended to say. Get some chill, that’s what Rhys always said, but I had none and never would. “I mean…” I shook my head. “We’ve done everything wrong. You expected Garrett and got me. We talked about your ex and this list of twenty seven must ask questions was nowhere near as useful as I hoped, but…” My hand slid across the table and I grabbed hers. That moment of contact was like a hot brand, searing my soul. My thumb moved, tracing the indentations of each knuckle, treasuring how small her hand felt in mine. “But I’d like to do this again, if you want to.”

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