Page 32 of Fake To Forever

I glance at the clock again, then at my phone, willing it to light up with a message, a call, anything. But it stays stubbornly dark, and I feel the tension coil tighter in my chest.

What’s taking her so long? Is she talking it over with someone? Is she trying to figure out how to let me down easy? The uncertainty gnaws at me, making it impossible to focus on anything else.

Maybe she decided to run far far away. I mean, only a crazy person asks someone they barely know to marry them.

I wouldn’t blame her for completely ghosting me after this.

Standing from my desk, I pace the room, trying to burn off some of the restless energy. But it doesn’t help. Nothing does. All I can think about is Haven—what she’s thinking, how she’s feeling, and what her answer will be. I know this isn’t fair to her. I know I put her in an impossible position, asking her to marry me like it’s just another business deal, but it’s more than that. It’s everything. For me, for Oliver, and maybe even for her.

The thought that she might say no—that she might decide this is all too much, too fast, too complicated—makes my stomach twist. What will I do if that happens? I mean sure, I’ll get over it. I’ll have to. It’s not like my custody situation was ever hers to worry about in the first place.

But damn would it all be easier with her by my side.

I guess one can dream, right?

I stop pacing and lean against the window, staring out at the estate. The land that once felt like my fortress now feels more like a cage, trapping me in this endless waiting game. Taking a deep breath, I try to steady myself, but it doesn’t work. Nothing works.

I need to hear from her to know what she’s thinking, how she feels about all of this. I need to know if she’s willing to take this leap with me, even if it’s just for convenience. Even if it’s just to help us both.

Hell, even if she doesn’t want to do this—I just need to know.

Deciding I need a distraction, I make my way out of my office, through the house, and out to my car. The moment my car roars to life, I head towards town. Oliver’s at daycare today, and though I know Haven isn’t, after I dropped him off this morning and didn’t see her, I can’t help but wonder if maybe I’ll run into her.

Then she’ll have to tell me something. Or maybe that just makes me sound desperate and completely crazy as well.

What the fuck am I doing?

I’m a little overwhelmed, and it’s not just from my sudden proposal. I’m wondering if I actually feel something for Haven, and that worries me. After all, she’s my best friend’s little sister. Of course, I was the one that did all of this. I set everything up, and now I can’t be having second thoughts, can I?

Stopping at a cafe in town, I force myself to eat something even though my stomach is turning like a raging sea through a massive storm. It isn’t until I finish my lunch that a sense of calm washes through me. There are tons of things I need to think through, whether she says yes or no.

One of those being wedding preparations if she says yes.

I mean, I can’t ask her to marry me and not have an engagement ring or anything. The fact that I even asked her to marry me without something like that is sort of embarrassing. I can only imagine what my father would say if he knew.

Stepping out of the cafe, my eye catches sight of a jewelry store across the street. My mother had left behind her wedding band for me to give to my future wife before she died, but not an engagement ring. She’d lost it when my parents first married.

A story my father has told for years.

The moment I step inside the shop, the small petite older woman with graying hair eyes me like a prized pig for slaughter. I’m sure she doesn’t get as much business as she would in a large city, and she knows it by her eagerness to show me anything I want.

Moving around from case to case, I catch sight of something that instantly makes me think of Haven. It’s a beautiful ring inlaid with rubies to match Haven’s auburn hair. As much as she doesn’t seem like a materialistic kind of girl, I can’t help but want to shower her with something expensive.

The ring itself proves to be just the thing as the two carats of diamonds that surround the ruby glisten against the store's bright lighting. It’s aggravating that I’m thinking so much about this, that I want to get her the perfect ring. But I can’t fall in love again. As much as I feel some sort of way towards Haven, I have to remember that this will only be for business.

Love just isn’t something that makes sense to me. While I’m grateful that Theresa gave me Oliver, she wasn’t the girl for me. The stress she’s put me through and continues to put me through is only going to send me to an early grave.

I can’t risk losing him, which is why I asked Haven to marry me. If it’s a situation that benefits us both, maybe she won’t run off. At least, that was my logic at the time. I just have to be sure not to fall for her, and things will be fine.

At least that's the hope.

Staring at the ring in my hand, I watch how the rubies catch the light as I turn it over. It’s beautiful, no doubt about that, but it feels heavy in a way that has nothing to do with its weight. This isn’t just a ring—it’s a promise, a commitment, and one I’m not sure I’m ready to make, even though I’ve already asked Haven to take this leap with me.

After making my purchase, I slip the ring’s velvet box into my pocket as I try to shake the unease that’s settled over me. This is the right thing to do—for Oliver, for my custody case, for Haven’s mother. It’s practical, and it makes sense, but as I walk out of the store and back to my car, I can’t ignore the nagging feeling that I’m on the edge of something I can’t control.

Driving back home, I force myself to focus on the road, on anything but the fact that Haven still hasn’t called. The silence is eating away at me, and every mile that passes only makes it worse. What if she says no? What if she decides this is too much, too soon? I’m not sure I could blame her if she did.

What if she says yes? What then? Am I really ready to go through with this, to make this arrangement work without letting my feelings get in the way? Because the truth is I’m not sure I can. Not anymore.

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