Page 40 of Love Under Siege

Taking the drill sergeant’s advice, I grabbed a pen and a piece of stationery, determined to write Anya a letter. I needed to get my thoughts out, to let her know that even from a distance, I was with her.

Dear Anya,

I just finished a long day of training, and it’s been nearly impossible to focus on anything but you. I spoke to my Drill Sergeant and his advice helped a bit, but I can’t shake the worry gnawing at me. Reading your last letter was like a punch to the gut. It’s tearing me apart knowing that you’re facing this alone.

I want you to know that I’m doing everything I can to make sure you’re safe. I’ve reached out to some people who might be able to push the investigation forward. I wish I could be there with you, but since I can’t, please stay strong and keep me posted on everything. Your safety is my top priority.

I understand how hard this has been on you and Lana. Please thank her for me. I hate that you’re both going through this, and I’m sorry I’m not there to help. I’m counting down the days until I can be with you again. Every moment apart feels like an eternity, and it hurts so much to know you’re scared and alone.

I love you more than I can put into words. Please hold on a little longer. I’m fighting to keep you safe, and I need you to stay strong. Remember that I’m with you in spirit, always thinking of you and doing everything I can to make sure you’re safe.

Yours forever,

Jacob

I folded the letter carefully, slipping it into an envelope. I’ll send it out as soon as I can. The weight of my worries was still heavy but writing to her had eased some of the pressure.

I glanced around my small room, feeling the distance between us more than ever. But I knew I had to stay focused and keep fighting—both in my training and by doing everything I could from here.

I lay back on my bunk, trying to push aside the anxiety and get some rest. The days ahead would be tough, but I was determined to do whatever it took to ensure her safety and look forward to the day when we could finally be together again.

The next morning, I was pulled from breakfast and instructed to go see the CO. The guys all mocked saying I was in trouble but even their playful jabs don’t shake the uneasiness building up in me. When I arrived at the CO’s office there were several men in there, my CO, the company First Sergeant and our battalion chaplain. The Chaplain stood there, his expression serious and somber. My heart dropped immediately, sensing that something was terribly wrong. He asked me to follow him to a small, quiet room down the hall.

As we walked, my mind raced with anxiety. I couldn’t shake the thought that this was something bad. My mind immediately went to Anya, but then we weren’t married so there is no way for the Army to know who she is. I shake my racing thoughts as the Chaplain’s face was grim and he gestured for me to sit. I took a seat, my hands clenched into fists on my lap.

The Chaplain cleared his throat, his voice heavy. “Jacob, I’m afraid I have some difficult news. Your mother has passed away.”

The words hit me like a sledgehammer, and for a moment, everything went blank. My throat tightened, and I struggled to breathe. The Chaplain’s voice continued, but I could barely hear him over the pounding of my heart. I thought about my mom—her laugh, her voice, the way she used to comfort me when things were tough. The reality of her absence felt like an enormous void that I didn’t know how to navigate.

“Wait? My mom?” I ask still in shock and feeling confused. “How did she die? When did she die?” panic in my voice.

The Chaplain and my CO briefly look at each other. “We are unsure of the exact circumstance that caused your mother’s death but all we were told is that there was an investigation into it” My CO explained.

Investigation? What the hell happened? Was Anya there?My mind racing as more questions flood my brain. I remember from one of Anya’s letters that she was going to visit my mom but I have no way of knowing if she did or not.

“We’re deeply sorry for your loss,” the Chaplain continued, his tone kind but firm. “We’ve arranged for you to go on a 10-day bereavement leave. We want you to have the time you need to be with your family and make any arrangements necessary.”

I looked at my CO, who gave me a solemn nod. “Jacob, we’ll support you through this. Take the time you need. We’ll handle things here.”

My mind was a storm of emotions—shock, sadness, guilt, and a sense of overwhelming loss. I wonder if Marissa and Tom are okay. So many thoughts and emotions consuming me.

I swallowed hard, trying to keep my voice steady. “Thank you, sir. I appreciate you letting me know.”

The Chaplain placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. “If you need anything, we’re here for you. Take care of yourself and your family.”

I nodded, feeling numb. I stood up, my legs heavy as I followed the Chaplain out of the room. My mind was spinning as I walked back to my quarters, trying to process everything, the weight of the news pressed down on me. I needed to reach out to Marissa, see how she is handling all this. Then to Anya, one because I need to know she is safe and two she will want to know what happened. My mom and her were just starting to get close and I know she’ll be devastated but at least we can comfort each other.

I took a deep breath, trying to center myself. I had to be strong for my family, for Anya, and for myself.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Anya

*buzz buzz*

My phone vibrates, and I see Jacob's name on the screen. My heart aches at the thought of hearing his voice. But how can I? I don't deserve him. It's because of me that his mom and Nana are dead. Everyone must be thinking it, they always do. Why am I constantly faced with tragedy? What have I done to deserve so much pain? I glance at my phone again as Jacob calls for the second time. He'll blame me for everything, and even if he doesn't, he should. If only I had kept to myself, if only I hadn't fallen in love, if only I was stronger, Nana and Jacob's mom would still be alive.

But then Nana's voice comes through as a gentle whisper in my mind: "Anya, remember that you are strong. You've faced hardships before and come out the other side. We will face whatever comes together, as a family."

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