Page 44 of Love Under Siege

"I understand you have a lot of questions, but thanks to your friend's boyfriend, we caught one of their crew outside the self-defense studio. He told us everything." Detective Collins explains.

My friend's boyfriend? What boyfriend? I wonder, then look over at Lana. She's standing next to Adam, our self-defense instructor.Why is Adam here?I wondered but shook it away as I walked over to them.

"You helped catch them?" I ask Adam.

He smiles and nods. "Yes, when Lana came to me asking for help, I couldn't just stand by and do nothing. It's my job to make sure you're safe, you know," he jokes. I fake a laugh, still trying to process everything.

"How did you know it was someone looking for me?" I ask in disbelief.

"I kept seeing him outside the studio every night you had classes. Then one night before classes started I went out to talk to him. I thought he was just contemplating coming in. It wasn't until he said he was your boyfriend that I knew he was lying." Adam explains.

I furrow my brow and look at Lana. She seems to know what I'm thinking, because she says, "I told him about Jacob and how he was away for training during one of our dates." She looks into Adam's eyes as she speaks.

"Well, in that case, thank you for your help." I tell Adam. He nods and pulls me into a hug. I’m stunned,he needs to not touch me, I think to myself. Despite my feelings, I awkwardly hug him back, but quickly pull away, still feeling uncomfortable hugging another guy who isn’t Jacob.

Speaking of Jacob, I really do miss him and I know I said I was going to stay away but Caleb is in jail now. I need to talk to him, even if he hates me. I reach for my phone to call him when Detective Collins reminds me that I need to go to the station to fill out some paperwork and receive more information. I put my phone away, telling myself I'll call Jacob later.

Before I follow Detective Collins out the door I see Pops and I immediately run to him. “I’m so sorry Pops! I am so sorry!” I begin crying in his arms.

“Oh shhhh Anya, please don’t blame yourself” he says as he rubs my back. “How can I not! She followed me there and then she got killed because of me!” I say as tears run down my face. He cups my face, “Anya dear, your Nana wouldn’t blame you and she wouldn’t want you to blame yourself either. You are her granddaughter, there isn’t anything she wouldn’t do to keep you safe” he says stroking my head. Then he looks me in the eye, “Anya, I don’t blame you either”. Then I start crying all over again.

“Anya?” I turn around and I see my parents standing there.

“Yeah?” I say calming myself down and steeling myself for what they are about to say.

“Would you like some company down to the station?” he asks.

“Are you going to blame me for getting Nana killed?”

My dad shoots his head up, confused as to my question. “Why would we blame you for Nana’s death?”.

“Because that’s what you and Mom do, you blame me for every bad thing that has ever happened and then you say I’m being dramatic or worse, lying” I answer with a cracked voice.

My Mom looks hurt and tears run down her face, “I’m sorry we made you feel that way, we never wanted you to feel like you are to blame” my dad says as he grabs my hands.

“We handled things wrong and for that we are sorry” my mom says.

All the pain and heartache over the years came crashing down and I fall into their arms. “I’m sorry too!” as I wrap my arms around them.

“I guess we were just so scared and we didn’t know how to handle it. Paul took you away from us for so long that when you were back, I just wanted you around and safe” my mom says.

I see Lana covering her mouth with her hand and tears running down her face. She knows how much I needed to hear their apology.

“Miss Parker, we need to go” Detective Collins informs us and we all go to the station together. Lana and Adam follow behind.

I sit in the back while my dad drives, no one says anything. I think we are all just overwhelmed with everything going on. Then my thoughts go to Jacob, I need to call him, at least to apologize. He can continue to hate me after that but the least I could do is call him. I reach through my bag looking for my phone when I notice the note that I shoved in here. I hesitantly take it out, if this is from Caleb it might help the case against him. I open the letter and start reading it, I quickly realize it’s from Marissa,

Hey Anya, I don’t know where you went, but I just want to understand why you left. Look, I’m not gonna lie my hormones and emotions are all going haywire. My mom is gone and it hurts beyond belief. A part of me wants to lay blame on you because things didn’t start going wrong till Jacob brought you home. But, I don’t, it isn’t fair to you to do that. You lost your Nana too and I am sure you are in as much pain as I am. Plus neither my mom or your Nana would want you to feel guilty…

Tears are falling down my face, because how can she not blame me. She would have every right to blame me, I blame me. I close my eyes and take a few breaths and continue reading.

…but please know this Anya, YOU are NOT to blame! Whoever did this is to blame, they are the ones who need to be punished. So I am asking you to please talk to me, I am here and I am not angry. I remember the day you and Jacob left to go back to NJ and my mom said to me that she knew you would be part of the family. If I’m being honest I knew it too, just by the way Jacob looks at you I can tell you both are perfect for each other. Plus the cat likes you so there’s that.

I laugh at that and my dad looks back at me through the rearview mirror. But I continue reading the letter.

In all seriousness Anya, please call me as soon as you get this letter. I want to be there for you. You have become the sister I never had but have always needed. I hope to hear from you soon.

Love.

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