Page 46 of Love Under Siege

“Just say whatever it is” my mom says with annoyance in her words.

He clears his throat and looks around the room, “umm apparently you two were supposed to have sex but then you met Paul and you never showed”.

“That’s ridiculous! Anya met Paul at a youth group party” my Mom says in a high pitched voice.

“Actually, no I didn’t Mom”

She looks at me with wide eyes, “what do mean no you didn’t?” she snaps and my Dad tells her to sit down.

“Go ahead sweetie” he says to me.

“I went to a masquerade party outside of town with a bunch of people I knew from high school and that is where I met Paul. I got drunk and I might have told someone I would lose my virginity to them.” I say sheepishly.

“ANYA!” my Mom shrieks

“Gloria, please stop yelling” my Dad says to my Mom. Then he sighs and looks at me, “I knew you were going there; I tracked your phone. But since I figured you were with people you knew. You would be okay, that’s why that night I told you that if you need anything to call me, no matter what it was” he says and I sit there in silence.

“Stephen!” my Mom shrieks again.

What? Tracked my phone?! You know what, never mind, it’s in the past,I can’t focus on that right now.

But I remember that night, I knew it was odd when my dad was way too casual about me going out but I had no idea that he knew where I was.

Still, I can’t find words to say, so he continues. “Which is why after everything that happened between you and Paul, I blamed myself. I blamed myself for him coming into your life because if I had just been more vigilant, you two would have never met” he says solemnly.

I feel the anger bubble up inside me, hot and relentless. How could they do this to me? He and my mom—mostly my mom—have been taking their frustrations out on me for so long that I can hardly remember what it feels like to breathe without the weight of their disappointment hanging over me. I can feel the heat rising in my chest, my fists clenching at my sides, ready to lash out, to finally say everything I’ve been holding back. But just as I’m about to unleash the storm brewing within me, I catch myself. No, Anya, it’s in the past. You need to calm down.

I take a deep breath, trying to center myself, to push aside the waves of resentment crashing over me. Anger isn’t going to change what happened. It won’t take back the choices I made or the consequences I have to live with. It won't erase the guilt that clings to my thoughts, reminding me that I’m the one who chose to go out with him. In the end, it’s my responsibility, not theirs.

As I turn to face my dad, the storm inside me starts to dissipate. I reach out, grabbing his hand, grounding myself in that simple connection. “Dad…” I say, my voice steadying as I look him in the eyes, “it was my choice to go out with him. I have to live with that, not you.”

The softness in my tone surprises me, a reminder that, despite everything, I can still choose how I react. I can’t change the past, but I can decide to face my future without letting anger dictate my actions.

Detective Collins clears his throat, “Anyway, we found out Caleb called in Marcus and it was his guys that attacked you. He also confessed to following you around and leaving you notes” he explains.

I sit in silence, replaying everything that was said. I replay the night of the party and I still have no idea who the mysterious guy that Iwas supposed to meet that night. Caleb claims it was him but I feel like I would have recognized him.I mean I know we were all wearing masks but still. Plus why start stalking me now? I left Paul two years ago, what changed?My mind is still going over questions when my dad's voice breaks through the silence.

"Are we finished here? We need to attend a funeral," my dad interrupts our thoughts.

Detective Collins nods and dismisses us.

"This is great news, right?" Adam asks with a smile.

"Yeah, it is. But for some reason, I can't shake this feeling that something isn’t right. I should have remembered Caleb," I say, troubled.

Adam rubs my back trying to comfort me and I tense up at his touch then he says, "Well, you did say you were pretty drunk. Maybe you don't remember everything."

I sigh and back away from him, "Yeah, I don’t know you're probably right."

"Is everything okay?" Lana asks as she sees Adam comforting me.

"Yeah, babe. Anya just feels like something is missing," Adam explains.

"Oh, Anya. That's completely normal after going through something like this," Lana reassures me with a hug.

"Yeah, I guess so. Oh, I need to call Jacob back!" I realize suddenly. But before I could reach for my phone, someone bumps into Lana and she accidentally bumps into me, causing my phone to fall and shatter on the ground.

"Shit!" I exclaim, picking up the pieces of my phone.

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