Page 28 of Aftermath

If day-by-day doesn’t work, take it hour-by-hour. What do you want, Austin?

Gale's question went on repeat, and he asked himself the same. What did he want?

It was too soon to say exactly what it was with Cam that Austin wanted, and he wanted to break it down to just a one-word answer: Cam. He wanted Cam—neededCam—period, but he had no clue what that meant. Comfort, closeness…intimacy? He groaned quietly and rolled over onto his stomach again, burying his face in the pillow that smelled like Cam.

Austin was too damn old to go through this crap.

Perhaps being on his own for a while was the answer. Support was good—that was one thing—but growing dependent on someone wasn’t healthy. He couldn’t count on Cam to save him, though he did want the man close. He had come to like this place, despite not having spent a lot of time here. But it was homey, not too big, and comfortable. Not as flashy as his own house across town. A house Jade had picked out and decorated.

Fucking Jade.

He had to talk to her. The more he thought about it, the more he suspected his wife of using Austin's current state as an excuse to get out. Had he missed something in the past? It wasn’t that unlikely. They had, after all, had their issues.

Hour-by-hour, he reminded himself. Right. Hour-by-hour. He would deal with everything; he had to.Gun or no gun. No matter the consequences, obstacles, or reactions from others, he'd do it. Starting with breakfast with Cam.

Dragging himself out of bed, he reached for his borrowed sweatpants, went to the bathroom, took a leak and freshened up, then padded out to the kitchen. He winced a little at the lingering pain in his leg from last night's bar fight.

That was another thing…Austin had never been a fighter. But he'd seen red. He had punched that bastard over and over, getting a few in return, until the bouncer had broken it up.

Yeah, I'm a mess, all right.

Cam was standing by the stove, his back to Austin, and his shoulders looked tense.

"Good morning," Austin said carefully. He was suddenly worried that Cam was the one who'd ended up regretting last night.

Cam nodded curtly. He didn’t turn around.

Gun or no gun. Austin steeled himself and did what hewanted; he walked up to him, gently placing his hands on Cam's hips, and dropped a soft kiss on his shoulder.

Cam stopped what he was doing and hung his head. His shoulders slumped. In defeat or relief, Austin couldn’t tell. He hoped for the latter, though.

"No fucking regrets?"

Austin shook his head slowly and kissed Cam's shoulder again, this time lingering. "I told you." Damn, it felt good to be this close to Cam. It was liberating. Giving Cam a nudge, he silently told him to turn around. Cam complied, and as soon as they faced each other, Austin tilted his head and got Cam's lips. "You thought I'd regret it," he murmured between brushing kisses.

"I thought you'd fuck this up," Cam corrected and slid his arms around Austin's midsection. "I thought shit would get weird, and then…" He trailed off, burying his face in the crook of Austin's neck, and kissed the spot behind his ear. "We know you can be an idiot sometimes."

Austin smirked. "An idiot whoyoubroke that rule with."

"Oh, for fuck's sake." Cam groaned and shoved Austin away. "I knew that was gonna come back and bite me in the ass." He shook his head. "Now, get outta my sight. I'm making scrambled eggs. Bastard."

Austin laughed, relieved, and headed out to the patio where Bourbon was playing with a chew toy. Curious, he walked over to the pool and toed the plastic cover, appeased when he found it fairly solid. In other words, Bourbon could run all over it and not fall through any cracks.

A while later, Austin and Cam sat on the patio and drank coffee and ate scrambled eggs. Both of which tasted a little burnt.

"Never claimed I was good at cooking," Cam said offhandedly.

"I'm not very picky." Austin took a sip of his coffee and looked out over the pool. "Any plans this weekend?"

"Nope. You?"

"Not really." Austin frowned to himself, thinking he should probably dosomething. He couldn’t really handle sitting around doing nothing anymore. "I suppose I have some thinking to do."

Cam nodded pensively, eyes on his plate. "I'd be your shoulder to cry on, but that’s usually your job." He sent Austin a forced smile.

"Yeah, because you've never comforted me," Austin said dryly. Christ, it felt like they were both in need of their mommas.

Gale kept commenting on how unorthodox it would be if Austin and Camdidn’tneed comfort, but it did little to change Austin's mind. Crying like a baby was for the weak. Not that anyone had ever told him that; it was just how he felt. Although, it only applied to himself, in his opinion. He didn’t find Cam odd for being depressed or anxious. He understood it, and whenever Cam was down, Austin wanted to be there.

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