Page 48 of The Demons We Hide

The others agree and a few minutes later, Lex is pulling off the highway and into a strip mall with a variety of small shops and a couple of restaurants. Gio leans over the front seat and points to one with a skeleton out front wearing a sombrero.

“That one!” he demands.

A snort escapes me, and I cup my hand over my mouth as I listen to the three of them argue. Lex grunts and jerks his shoulder up to try and cast off Gio’s grip. Nolan gestures to another restaurant that looks like a burger place. In the end, though, Gio’s insistence leads Lex to park in front of the fun hat wearing skeleton and G jumps out of the back seat, practically racing for the front door before anyone else has made it out of the vehicle.

“What a fucking child,” Nolan grumbles hopping out of the car as I, too, slide from the back seat. One look back, though, and he slows his gait. When Lex pauses and looks over his shoulder with a frown, Nolan waves him on. “We’ll catch up—make sure he gets a booth.”

Lex’s cool gunmetal gaze finds mine, and after a beat, he nods and then heads inside. I stop on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant as the doors open and a family of four comes out, stepping into the parking lot as each parent attempts to hold on to one of their kids to keep them from running into the street. Once they’re out of earshot and both Lex and Gio are inside the building, I meet Nolan’s gaze.

“Go on,” I tell him. “Say whatever it is you want to say.”

Nolan watches me, his lips pinching down as if he’s unhappy with something. I don’t know why, though. He and the guys got what they wanted. Me. Here. With them.

“I’m … sorry.”

I blink. Of all the things that I’d expected Nolan to say, it hadn’t been that.

“You’re sorry?” I repeat.

He nods.

“For what?” Is he actually going to admit to burning down my apartment?

Nolan blows out a breath and scrubs a hand down his face. I hadn’t noticed in the car, but now that the day has warmed up and the sun has come out, I finally see the bags under his eyes. The long shadows and the scruff of an unshaven jaw that tells me he hasn’t been sleeping well.

“I’m sorry for making you feel like you didn’t have a choice,” he says. “I know you think that Lex and I burned down your place, but we didn’t. I was at the hospital nearly all day. Lex can probably get footage, but…”

I wait, and when he doesn’t go on, I step forward. His gaze jerks to mine. “But what?”

His nostrils flare and he drops his hand. “But I don’t want you to take it only to throw it back in our faces and say we faked it somehow.” I almost flinch. It’s definitely something I would do. Something I’d already done with Gio and that damn document from the fire department.

What if they really had nothing to do with the apartment?A part of me wonders.What if I really am just cursed with bad luck?

“And, to be honest, there’s another reason why Gio asked you to come with us this weekend,” Nolan continues when I don’t respond to his earlier statement.

“What’s that?” I watch him carefully, searching for any sign that he could be lying. It’s hard, though. I’ve proven to be an absolute horrible judge of character. I can’t trust my instincts anymore, not even when they’re screaming at me to trust him, to just … give in with them andtry.

“We want out of Silverwood,” Nolan says. “It’s a dead end for guys like us.” He gestures back to the restaurant where both Gio and Lex wait for us inside. “We can’t get stuck there like our parents.We won’t be.” The conviction in his tone makes my spine straighten. It’s the kind of determination in his gaze that I’ve seen before—the night my whole world came crumbling down.

I’d looked into the mirror of that bathroom and told myself that I’d never let anyone take advantage of me again. I’d never deal with the kind of betrayal that my so-called friend and boyfriend had given me. That was why it’d hurt so fucking much when I thought that they had done the same thing.

If I’m well and truly honest with myself, I’m fucking tired. I’m tired of second guessing everyone around me. Of trying and failing to make it on my own. Of not being able to rely on anyone. Of dealing with the backlash of what my parents have done and being nothing more than a Donovan. Not Juliet. Not a girl. Not even a person. Just a figure of hate.

“Eastpoint’s program…” Nolan continues. “It’s a good opportunity for us, and I think it’d be a good opportunity for you too.”

My eyes find the ground and I stare at the cracked sidewalk beneath our shoes. When he doesn’t say anything more, I realize it’s my turn to talk.

“I…” I suck in a breath. “I don’t know if I trust you,” I admit, still not looking at him. “But I’m fucking tired of fighting you. I was fucking angry after I came back to find my apartment gone.” My words are an understatement, but he doesn’t call me out on it. “I took it out on Lex and I took it out on you.”

Ergo, I’d fucked Lex to try and get back at the rest of them. But they’d surprised me. They knew about each other—knew that I’d had sex with Lex, and they probably knew about Gio too. Yet, there was no jealousy. What had Gio said before? That they shared their toys?

A part of me had hated those words because it’d been equating me to a toy passed around between the three of them. Yet, when they do shit like this—pick me up, bring me coffee, take me to tour a college with them—I don’t feel like just a thing.

I don’t feel like I did as the Donovans’ daughter before my life blew up. A picture-perfect daughter with good grades. A cheerleader. An empty shell of a person masquerading as someone else.

“I know.” Nolan’s words are quiet and they finally make me look up at him. I’m not sure if he’s responding to my words or if he can read the thoughts going through my head on my face.

“Are you really going to Eastpoint to tour the place?” I ask.