The fucking monster no one ever sees. No one except me.
"Baby?" I nearly jolt at the sound of Lex's voice, and I realize that I've been standing outside of the passenger door of his SUV for ... I don't fucking know how long. Without looking up at the rolled down window, I reach for the door handle.
My fingers close around the black metal and pull. The door pops open and I react with practiced movement, stepping onto the bar beneath the footboards and hefting myself into the interior. I drop my bag next to my feet. My skin tingles with awareness. The cold air. Lex's curious stare. My eyes burn.
No. Not here.I need to hold it in until I'm alone again, until no one will see me break. I turn away from him and reach for the seatbelt.
"Are you okay?"
I go still, my heart thundering in my chest, in my ears. Fingers trembling, I force myself to start moving again, wrapping the belt around my waist and chest and clipping it into place. "Yeah."Lie."Why wouldn't I be?"Why are you such a fucking liar, Jules?
The soft sounds ofSecond Chanceby Shinedown continue to play across the older radio of the vehicle, turned down so low that I have to strain to hear it. Lex doesn't respond to my words, but neither does he put the car into reverse and start backing up. I keep my eyes fixed forward, staring out of the windshield at the back of the Dionysus Lounge.
"Juliet?" Lex's hand enters my line of sight and I jerk away from it, pressing into the seat at my back.
"Can we please just go?" I demand. Before someone else comes out. I hadn't seen Mads when I'd gone to get my things, but that didn't mean she isn't still inside, and I fear if I see her now, it'll shatter my resolve.
"Did something happen?" Of all the times for Lex to be concerned, now is really the worst one to choose. I don't want to have to beg, but I will if that gets me away from here faster.
"Please."
His hand stills, not quite touching me, but hovering over my thigh as if he wants to. Then, without another word, it disappears—retracting back out of my line of sight. A moment later, the car rolls backward, and I can breathe even again. For now.
Cold air blows into the cab and continues to do so, turning my already cool skin to something akin to ice. Finally, Lex hits a button and the passenger window rolls up, cutting off the fresh scent of wet grass and dusty pavement. For several long minutes, the only sound is that of the nearly mute radio as it changes from Shinedown to Three Days Grace and then Breaking Benjamin. Turning away from the man at my side, I breathe through my teeth and lean into the glass of the now closed window.
The vehicle moves forward, and I close my eyes, pretending that it's taking me somewhere else. Not back to Silverwood, but somewhere far the fuck away from here. From Ma-Ri and Mads and the Scorpion Kings and ... everything else.
I must be exhausted because I fall asleep and wake sometime later with the realization that we're no longer moving. There's no bumping sound of the SUV avoiding potholes and even the quiet radio has been shut off completely.
"You're awake."
Lifting my head, I stop resisting the urge to look to my side. Lex is little more than an outline of shadow in the darkness. He sits in the driver's seat, backlit by the moonlight pouring in through the windows around us. I reach for my seatbelt, and he doesn't speak again as I unbuckle it and take in our surroundings.
"Where are we?" I ask, noting the absence of buildings and familiar surroundings. In fact, I have no fucking idea where we are.
Woods as far as the eye can see span several miles in front and behind the SUV and along either side from where he's pulled off a back road. I shiver and realize that the radio isn't the only thing he's turned off. The SUV is off and so, too, is the heater. It's been like that for a long time, I surmise at the goosebumps that creep along my arms as I close them around myself and huddle against the seat.
I should be afraid. Lex isn't my friend. He's done strange things before, made me question my own sanity. Somehow, though, I can't work up the energy to be frightened. What would be the point? Everything bad that could ever happen to me has already happened.
My nose twitches and my eyes begin to burn again.Everything bad that could ever happen to me has already happened.The words repeat in my head, a reminder, a revelation. It was never a dream. It was real. I...
A noise erupts from my throat—a cross between a hiccup and a sob. I clap a hand over my mouth and hunch inward.Fuck. Goddamn it. Not yet. I'm not alone.
"Juliet."
I shake my head, turning away from Lex and fumbling for the handle. I can't breathe here. I can't. I fucking can't...
"Juliet!"
A curse slips free, but thankfully—blessedly—the door opens, and I practically fall out of the vehicle, hitting the hard ground with a painfulthump. I groan as both my knees throb, but don't let that minor ache stop me from getting back to my feet. Pressing a hand into dirt and gravel, I leverage up and stumble away from the SUV as Lex's driver's side door swings open behind me. The squeal of hinges and metal causes my heartbeat to increase, and I move faster.
I have to get away. I need to—I need to?—
A scream rockets up my throat as thick, muscled arms close around me and drag me back against an equally muscled chest. Kicking back, I lash out. I throw my body forward, clawing at the arms holding on to me.
"No!" I scream and scream, bucking and kicking and scratching. All of the training Cory had poured into me disappears. All of the repetitive movements of self-defense that he'd hammered into my head evaporates and once again, I'm nothing more than a pretty girl in a bad fucking situation. "No." Not again. I can't do it again.
"Juliet, calm down." I hear the male voice at my back, but I don't follow its command. "It's me!" he yells. "Fuck—baby,please."