Page 61 of Kingdoms of Tides and Twilight

“Grayden, I'd like to explain myself, if you'll let me.”

“There is no need. But if you want to tell me something—anything—I'll always listen.”

“Okay. Thank you. I think I might have overreacted a bit yesterday. Having you hear and see my thoughts just…freaked me out a bit. I felt like my mind had been violated—”

“I'm so sorry—”

“Please, just let me finish. I've had to adjust to a lot since coming here, I don't need to tell you all the things I've learned and all the things that have changed in my life since falling through the portal. Some have been really good, and others have been scary for me. But the reason I think I was so freaked out was because of what happened in the nightmare dungeon. I know we don't talk about it, but my mind was manipulated the entire time I was down there, and that fact alone was almost as horrifying as the things I kept dreaming about. Having you in my head, it just brought back all those feelings. I know it's irrational, but I was mad at you too. I know it's not your fault but…” she trailed off.

“You hurt the ones you love,” he said. “I'm a safe place to direct your anger. You know we're bound for eternity, and I won't leave you no matter what. I'm the safest place and the safest recipient for your anger.”

She nodded. “It doesn't make it right though, and I am sorry for that.”

He looked up at her, his eyes deep as a well and reflective as a mirror. “There's no need—but if you need to hear it, you're forgiven. You're forgiven everything.”

Chapter Thirty-One

Renya trembled, focusing on reaching out to Kalora with her magic. She managed to grasp her outstretched fingers, but that was it. The golden threads of her power shimmered in the air between them, delicate and wispy.

“You have to concentrate, Renya,” Kalora urged, her voice a mix of encouragement and frustration. “It will come easier over time, but right now you need to keep your mind blank.”

Renya took a deep breath, centering herself. She reached out again, pushing her magic out of her body. The golden strands shone and sparkled in the light, dancing like sunbeams through leaves.

Your magic is almost as beautiful as you are.

She lost control and her magic splintered, going in a thousand different directions before dissipating throughout the throne room. The sudden loss left her feeling hollow and drained.

Grayden! Don't talk to me. I'm supposed to be keeping my mind blank.

“What was that?” Kalora asked, astonished at the sudden outburst. “What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing in particular,” Renya lied, her cheeks flushing. She and Grayden had decided to keep their newfound abilities to themselves for now.

“Well, whatever you did seemed to have helped. Your magic responded more strongly that time.”

See? I'm helping you.

Renya sighed and tried to clear her mind again. But she couldn't help but hear Grayden's thoughts as soon as he had them. She wasn't sure if he was doing it on purpose to try and make up for the intrusion into her thoughts earlier, or if he just couldn't control it. It was a strange sensation, almost as though she had a commentator narrating her life.

Turning to the side of the room, Renya tried to empty her thoughts. Instead, she caught a glimpse of Selenia talking with Julietta in low tones. Selenia looked better, the sadness replaced by a simmering anger. Renya could almost feel it radiating off of her. She hadn't gotten a chance to talk with Selenia yet about her conversation with Jurel, but she hoped this would be enough closure so she could begin to heal and move on.

Julietta said something to Selenia, and she smiled. It was a tiny smile, but it was something. Renya felt it was a positive sign. Selenia was young and she hoped she would bounce back quickly. She was too lively and spirited to stay down for long.

“Renya, are you listening? Try it again.” Kalora's voice cut through her musings.

Renya dropped her thoughts of Selenia and did as Kalora asked. She drew a quick breath, her lungs expanding as far as they could, and then released it, trying to push her powers out. Nothing happened. She focused again, but she couldn't bring them forward. She felt like a flowerless vase, about to tip over from a high place. She was unbalanced and empty.

“I think we should call it a day,” Grayden said gently. “I want to have a word alone with Renya, if you don't mind.”

Kalora nodded and swept out of the room, her gown of bird feathers trailing behind her. She reminded Renya of an owl, her sharp eyes missing nothing. She could be harsh, but not unfairly so. She pushed Renya hard but realized her limitations as well.

Julietta and Selenia waltzed out together, and Renya watched them walk in the same direction. She was glad to see Selenia had a friend her own age. While she enjoyed being her confidant, she knew as her brother's mate there were probably things Selenia didn't want to disclose to her.

The chamber was empty. Grayden moved from his spot in the corner over to the middle of the room, where she stood, tired and exhausted. He wrapped his arms around her before resting his chin on the top of her head. “Do you feel like these lessons are helping?”

Renya gnawed on the inside of her cheek. “I mean, I've been able to manifest my power, which is more than I could do before. But I feel like I've stalled. When my mind is clear, I can't seem to feel or reach my power at all. It's almost as though it's gone.”

Grayden pulled back and looked at her thoughtfully, brushing her hair out of her face. Some of the strands had fallen loose from her braid and were curling around her face. “Maybe that's not the way your magic works. Your powers might be different because you're from the Sun Realm. Or maybe because they were locked within you, you have to access them differently.”

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