Page 59 of Blood Bought

“She hasn’t killed me,” I offered in agreement. “So you wanted to be turned, then?”

“Absolutely.” There was no doubt in his tone or on his face. “They didn’t accidentally kill me first, either. I asked them, they said no for a bit, and I didn’t let it go and then I broke my leg and Kellian just imagined all the horrible things that could happen to me and then he finally agreed. Ris was on board pretty quickly after that argument. Like I said, sometimes we choose our family. I went and said goodbye to Rose after Ris healed my leg and they turned me the next day.”

So you got to say a real goodbye. Lucky you.“Seems like it worked out for you then, though I’m sorry you couldn’t see her anymore. I’m sure she kicked ass right up until the end.” I picked the machete up again and took a breath, hoping he understood that I was glad he opened up to me and I hoped it happened more, but that I couldn’t think about how much I missed my family right then.

I needed to focus.

Chapter Twenty-Six:

Days went by and Iwasn’t allowed to see Alaris again. Apparently the little show we’d put on didn’t amuse the guards, Ciro, or Alpha Brander, so the only one who got to see him was Kellian. I stuffed down my jealousy at that and tried to stay in my lane as I waited for word from Azel about Tamsin and watched the hours tick by, bringing me closer to that punishment.

The morning of, Kellian spent an hour with Alaris and then came back looking strained. “He’s in rough shape, Addy. He hasn’t gone this long without feeding since... well, we won’t get into that, but I’ve never seen his eyes so red. It took him ten minutes to remember who I was and why I was there, but I think he’s back... at least for now.”

My heart broke for him, and suddenly I was glad I hadn’t been around to watch his descent. “It’s almost over. Just a few hours now, right? He’ll be allowed to feed tonight?”

“Yes, but we need to talk about how this is going to go. First, he wants you to drink my blood directly from the source today, and a lot of it. It loses some of its healing qualities the moment its exposed to air, so it’ll give you the best edge if you just... take it.”

I shuddered at the thought of feeding like a vampire, but I wasn’t in a position to argue. Even the glasses he’d filled for me had made me stronger than I’d ever been in my life – if drinking directly would help, then I’d do it. “What’s second? My objections to the first aren’t strong enough to even voice.”

“He wanted me to warn you again that Ciro will take too much and offer you a chance to change your mind about what will happen if he does. It’s not too late, Adalind. He’ll believe me fully if you tell me you want him to change you if you die today.”

The reminder that death was very much on the table had me clenching my jaw. “No. I don’t want to be a vampire,” I said again. The conversation I’d had with Azel was still very much at the forefront of my mind, and a little piece of me couldn’t deny that dying was the only way to ensure that prophecy never came true. “I’m strong now, Kellian. He won’t be able to kill me.”

“He can,” he insisted. “I don’t think he will, but he can, and accidents really do happen. Which brings me to thing number three.” Kell sat down, gesturing for me to join him. “Ciro will mentally and physically hurt you. He does it with all of his own bloodwhores, which is why Tamsin was in such rough shape to begin with. Unlike Alaris and a vast majority of the rest of us, he doesn’t have a sweet tooth. I know you’ve been told that, so it shouldn’t be news. What Icantell you thatisnew is that it’ll play in your favor. Don’t let him get to you. No matter what he says, no matter how he hurts you, you can’t let it get to you. If your blood stays sweet and Alaris tempers his reaction to seeing another vampire with his fangs in you, Ciro will get bored. He won’t take as much and you have a much, much higher chance of surviving this.”

I nodded even as dread seeped through my bones. It wasn’t exactly a secret that I was emotional and easily affected. “Sounds like a breeze,” I deadpanned.

“Well, I didn’t come empty-handed.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, rose-gold crystal. “This is a Tether. One painless spell and all of your emotions – good and bad – get sort of transferred to this. The further the Tether is away from you, the more disconnected you become from your emotions. You won’t be sweet or sour, and nothing he says or does will get to you.”

He handed it to me carefully, and I was surprised how cold it was to the touch. “I won’t feel anything at all?”

“Nothing.”

Where was this three months ago? Five years ago?I held it to my chest and caught the beating of my heart against my bent fingers. If I used this, the punishment would be easier... for me. But what would happen if I couldn’t feel anything? No guilt, love, happiness, sadness, fear?I’d kill Ciro for touching me, the way I would’ve killed any vampire for touching me before I got here. Or would’ve tried, anyway, but now with Kellian’s blood and Renzo’s training, I’m strong enough I might be able to pull it off if he wasn’t expecting it. And then what? Alaris dies, I don’t make it out of this castle, Kellian and Renzo are murdered, and Tamsin’s likely taken back from Draterion.“No,” I said quietly, shoving it back into his hand. “I won’t go through with it if I can’t feel. I’m only doing this for Tamsin, for Alaris. For you and Ren for helping me. It all falls apart if I can’t remember the reasons why.”

Something changed in his eyes that I couldn’t quite pinpoint. “Most humans would jump at the chance not to feel anything, especially with what you’ve been through.”

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