‘Well, at least it’s Friday. One more day and then you can stay in bed and rest and read and do whatever you do to relax.’
‘Dance,’ I said glumly. ‘I usually dance to relax.’
‘Oh, yum,’ I countered greedily as Jess placed dishes of food in front of us. She was trying to be casual, trying not to care too much that she’d obviously spent the last couple of hours concocting something to impress us, but really desperate for our approval.
‘I thought you were off your food.’ Jess smiled. ‘So in love, you can’t eat?’
‘Oh, for two minutes there I wasn’t thinking about him, Jess. Now you’ve reminded me.’ I put down my knife and fork, my throat constricting with longing for Fabian and the reality of knowing I’d lost him.
‘Was he gorgeous, Aunty Robyn?’ ten-year-old Lola asked through a mouth full of the most divine linguine, her eyes wide with anticipation and interest. ‘How do youknowwhen you’re in love? Does your heart beat faster?’ She wiped at her mouth with the white paper napkin she’d spent ages – and very artistically – trying to origami into a swan. ‘I don’t think I’ll bother falling in love,’ she added once she’d swallowed and reloaded her fork. ‘You have to do that thing in bed with them, don’t you? And then they bugger off with the barmaid.’
‘Oy, language,’ Jess and I both remonstrated as one, while Jayden started to laugh.
‘Or do something that makes you hurt your knee and run away.’ Lola glanced hopefully in my direction, obviously wanting to know what had been so bad I’d come back home.
‘Lola, elbows off the table, don’t talk with your mouth full.’ I loved the way Jess had brought Lola up to have such beautiful manners. No different, really, from how Lisa had insisted we two girls behave at the table when we were kids. She mighthave brought us up single-handedly, but our mum had always insisted on manners and good behaviour.
‘Did he get someone else pregnant?’ Lola was now asking.
‘Did who get someone pregnant?’ Jayden, Jess and I all turned in Lola’s direction; she’d now gone slightly pink.
‘The boyfriend you were so in love with, Aunty Robyn? Amie Thompson, in my class, said she bet that’s what happened.’
‘Enough, Lola.’ Jess shot a look in her daughter’s direction.
‘Or was he cheating on you?’
‘No, Lola,’ I managed to get out. ‘Fabian and I held very different views on very important issues. Sometimes you just have to be true to yourself.’
‘Even if you’re mad about him?’
‘Especiallyif you’re mad about him. And if his family have been unpleasant to you,’ Jess now put in.
‘Is this boyfriend of yours really helping that awful man, who’s done horrible things to ladies, to not go to prison? He’s onhis side?’ Lola pulled a face of dramatic horror.
‘It’s a bit more complicated than that,’ I started to say, wanting to defend Fabian when he wasn’t here to defend himself.
‘Little girls like you shouldn’t know about horrible men like… likehim,’ Jess put in.
‘Rupert Henderson-Smith?’ Lola was scornful. ‘You can say his name, Mum; he’s on the news and in the paper. I read all about him in last Saturday’sGuardian.’
‘The Guardian? Expensive!’ I raised an eye in Jess’s direction.
‘Only paper worth reading,’ she parried. ‘Love the culture magazine and the recipes. I forgo something at Aldi for my Saturday treat. Andyou,’ she went on, turning to Lola, ‘shouldn’t be reading about what that perverted dreadful man did.’ Jess was slightly flustered. ‘OK. More of this, anyone?’
‘Anyway, it’s all right, Aunty Robyn.’ Lola grinned across at me. ‘Mum says Mr Donoghue really fancies you and you’ll probably end up with him and forget all about the sexy barrister.’
‘Lola,enough.’ Jess was totally red-faced. ‘I told you that in confidence. I thought you were old enough and grown up enough for a bit of adult conversation without telling Aunty Robyn what we’d been discussing.’
‘Discussing?’ I breathed. ‘That’s gossiping.’
‘But spot on, Robyn.’ Jayden grinned. ‘It was obvious from the get-go.’
‘No, it wasn’t,’ I snapped. ‘It’s you he’s after, Jayden; he wants you to go into school to talk to the kids about the history of West Indian music.’
‘I’m up for that,’ Jayden said. ‘You arrange it and I’ll peruse my diary.’
‘What?’ I shook my head in despair.