Page 46 of Lessons in Life

‘Hi, Lisa. Goodness, yourmother, Jess?’ He turned back to Jess but then immediately turned back to concentrate on Lisa, taking in every aspect of her while holding out his hand. ‘Weren’t you in the café in the village yesterday?’

‘Oh, yes, yes, I was.’ For some inexplicable reason, Lisa found her heart beginning to race; her pulse speed up. Hell, was she on the verge of one of her seizures? No, this was a quite different sensation. She’d experienced this before – when she’d first set eyes on Jayden Allen performing in that nightclub in Bradford. Oh God, was she regressing to being a teenager?

‘You all right, Mum?’ Both Jess and Kamran Sattar were staring at her and she flushed, probably most unbecomingly, she’d think afterwards when she recalled the moment.

‘D’you work here, Lisa?’ Kamran’s hand was outstretched and she put her own into it, feeling it warm and dry, looking up into the most beautiful pair of brown eyes she’d ever seen, taking in a subtle scent of some expensive aftershave.

‘Just helping out,’ she found herself breathlessly twittering, while Jess continued to stare at her pink face. ‘You know how it is.’

‘Er, not really.’ Kamran smiled. ‘I’m afraid I know nothing about care homes.’

Despite this man’s presence totally flooding her senses; even while there was a strange but vaguely familiar feeling in her nether regions she’d thought she’d locked away for ever, Lisa suddenly remembered who this man was and why he was here. Yes, he certainly did know nothing about care homes! Not concerned how Sylvia and Denise and Ted – constantly wandering the place in his rolled-down undercrackers – would have to be looking for a new home if Kamran Sattar got his way. How Jess was going to be thrown onto the dole; not have the job she loved, despite her often moaning about it. How that beautiful neglected garden, the orchard, the herb and vegetable plots would be bulldozed just for the sake of a few more bloody Turkey Twizzlers and frozen fucking fish fingers.

‘I believe you’re about to destroy the lives of the residents here, Mr Sattar?’ Blimey, it was very difficult not to melt in the face of such a gorgeous man looking down at her with some humour, but she’d got her lippy on and she was going for it. ‘Do you not realise the lives you’re ruining? Who’s going to take Ted, with his bum on show to the world most of the time…?’

‘Sorry? Ted?—?’

‘Mum—!’

Kamran Sattar and Jess spoke as one, but Lisa ploughed on. ‘And there’s Eloise. She’ll have to go back to a husband who won’t let her have potted dog when she wants it…’

‘Potted dog?’ Kamran’s face was a picture.

‘And there’s Denise – St Mede’s headteacher’s grandmother…’

‘Right?’ Lisa could see Kamran was trying unsuccessfully to follow Denise’s lineage and the woman’s relationship to the school, Lisa suddenly remembered, he wasalsointent on razing to the ground.

‘…And she won’t be able to go back to Grenada, because she left when she was eight – even though she still has that lovely Caribbean accent. Actually, I do think she puts it on a bit for effect… Or she’ll have to go and live with Mason and that dreadful wife of his, Angel, who always has her enormous chest out on display…’

‘Mum, enough already.’ Jess took Lisa’s arm, pushing her into her office. ‘Mr Sattar, I have work to do. If there’s anything else I can do for you?’ She closed the door on Lisa, who, suddenly realising the little contretemps she’d created out there, started giggling nervously.

Thirty seconds later, Jess let herself back into the office, closing the door once more. ‘Bloody hell, Mum, what was all that about?’ Then, seeing Lisa rolling around in hysterics on the small sofa to which Jess always directed the families of prospective residents, joined in herself.

‘God, that was priceless,’ Jess finally hiccupped. ‘You know, Mum, you were always feisty when Robyn and I were kids. Even with Jayden, when he was off again. I think that’s what he loved about you.’

‘Until I became a doormat, you mean?’ Lisa wiped unsuccessfully at the tears of laughter and smudged mascara.

‘Until you became ill.’ Jess smiled.

‘Yes, I suppose I did have a bit more about me when I was in my teens and my twenties.’

‘Ted and his bum hanging out, for heaven’s sake! Accusing Denise Donoghue of a fake West Indian accent. Telling him Angel Donoghue got her tits out…’ Jess started laughing again.

‘I didn’t say “tits”, did I?’ Lisa was horrified.

‘As good as.’ Jess nodded.

‘So, why was he here? To gloat? To claim ownership? To put his stamp on the place?’

‘To get you into a bit of a tizz, Mum.’ Jess chortled. ‘I’ve never seen you behave like that.’

‘I was just cross,’ Lisa said, not looking at Jess.

‘You fancied him.’

‘Did not.’

‘Yes, you did.’

---