Page 56 of Lessons in Life

‘If that was the case,’ I snorted, ‘half the kids at St Mede’s would be being arrested.’ I turned to Sorrel. ‘Does Joel know?’

‘Ionly found out myself an hour ago,’ Sorrel protested. She put her head down on the table and wept. ‘I don’t know what to do.’

‘Oh, sweetheart.’ Mum was immediately up on her feet, cradling Sorrel, who clung to her. ‘This is all Jayden’s fault.’

‘What’shegot to do with it?’ I pulled a face.

‘If he’d been a proper father to you girls, this wouldn’t have happened. It happened to you too, Jess, don’t forget. About to go to uni and, instead, you make the decision to stay here with that pillock next door.’

‘Dean’s not next door, is he?’ I asked, tutting in Jess’s direction.

‘No!’

‘But, Mum.’ Sorrel lifted her head. ‘At least my being… you know… pregnant… means I’ve not got porphyria.’

‘I never for one moment thought you had,’ Mum said, obviously feeling some relief at what Sorrel had just said. ‘Actually, that’s where I’ve just been,’ she went on. ‘To see Matt.’

‘At this time of night?’ Jess stared. ‘You said you’d been singing. Was he, you know, was he…all right?’

‘Not great, no, Jess. How you can let go a wonderful man likeDrMatt Spencer…’ Mum emphasised his profession as proof of his brilliance and suitability for her eldest daughter ‘…is utterly beyond me. And, I have been singing. And it was fantastic. And I’m going again. As long as I can continue to get my life on track and not now be stuck at home changing sodding nappies!’

‘Matt was singing?’ Jess pulled a Jess face. ‘Matt can’t sing. He can’t rub two notes together.’

‘Mixing your metaphors,’ I muttered.

‘Will you please stop doing your teacher act on me?’

‘Matt said I should do what I always said I never would do.’ Mum looked up from stroking Sorrel’s hair.

‘What, finally boot Jayden out?’ Jess sniffed.

‘Will you leave your father out of this?’

‘You keep bringing Dean into it!’

‘Matt says I should try to find my birth parents. Look into whether the porphyria is in my family. If there is a gene that is being passed down the generations.’

‘If that’s the case, does that mean you’re more likely to pass it on to us in turn?’ I exhaled. ‘I really don’t think I want to know.’

‘Me neither,’ Sorrel sobbed. ‘Let sleeping dogs lie and all that. Don’t go opening cans of worms.’

‘Good use of imagery.’ I was impressed.

Mum looked at the clock. ‘It’s well after eleven,’ she said calmly. ‘I think we’ve all said things this evening that should never have been said…’

‘Ihaven’t,’ Jess protested. ‘Jaydenisa pillock and…’ she raised an eye in Sorrel’s direction ‘…I amnotprepared to bring up another baby that’s not mine.’

‘That sounds like Lola wasn’t yours either,’ Sorrel said mulishly.

‘Sorrel, I sacrificed my career and my body: my bosom, my pelvic floor, my mental ability – and stability – to bring Lola into the world. I can assure you I was there at her conception and her birth and, while I adore my daughter, I donotwant another.’ She stood up, crossly. ‘Iwant what Fabian wants,’ she added, giving me a somewhat challenging look while pushing back her chair.

‘He wantsme.’ I tutted, looking at my watch. ‘Right now, and wearing very little apart from the black basque he bought me for Christmas.Andwith a spoonful of ice cream in my…’

‘Enough!’ Mum held up both hands, silencing all three of us as she’d so often done in the past.

‘I was going to say in my mouth.’ I started to laugh and then, realising that wouldn’t now be happening, as well as remembering the reason behind its non-occurrence, moved over to Sorrel. ‘Oh, you silly girl. We’ll sleep on it and sort it out tomorrow.’ I turned back to Jess, who was at the door. ‘And what the hell do you mean, you want what Fabian wants? You used to call him that “Bastard Barrister from Bucks”. So don’t you come all matey, best friends forever with him now.’

‘I want,’ Jess repeated grandly, ‘what Fabian wants. He and I are going to open a restaurant.’ And, with that, she slammed the door behind her, loftily striding past the kitchen window as she made her way back to her daughter asleep in her own cottage.

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