Page 34 of The Hidden Guardian

“When did you start training?”

“Since birth, it feels like, but your full power doesn’t manifest until eighteen. That’s when the clan forces you into training to figure out what makes you tick.”

“Will I have to go through all that?”

“If you are allowed to stay and still don’t understand your power, then, yes. You would need to in order to be helpful to yourself or to Renall.”

“Yes, I hate letting him down.” The running away from the hunters and the two attacks on the cave floor have left me feeling … useless.

Onai leans in to whisper, “I think he’s just happy to have you here. I don’t think you could let him down if you tried.”

“I just wish I was of better use to him than hiding away in this cave. Sometimes I feel like he rescued me for nothing.”

“It will come with time, take this time to focus on learning your gifts and how it reacts to you.”

She’s right, I mean, that’s all I can do … that and try to stay alive.

ChapterTwenty

AUTUMN

After Onai left, Renall had come back to the cave and collapsed on the couch. His eyes distant in thought. I didn’t mind the silence. I have a lot to think about from my conversations with Onai today. I cuddled up into the corner by the bed with Colton’s notebook. To understand my gift, I had to recall the times I’ve used it. Back home I would garden when I was upset and it would make me feel better. When I created the ivy on the tree in the woods, I was stressed, and anxiety-ridden. My gift must be tied to my emotions … now, how do I trigger it?

How do I home in on any one emotion? Currently, I feel grief, sorrow, anger. I glance over to Renall and realize that there’s one more … hope …

Which one do I feel the most strongly about? Right now,anger. Anger at the situation I’m in. Anger with myself for not protecting Colton. Anger at Mother for leaving me, leaving me without explaining any of this. For explicitly raising me in the dark from this side of our world when she must have known. Colton’s death is as much her fault as it is my own. Anger at the hunters for killing him, Anger at myself for not realizing what they were.

As my anger rises, I focus on my outstretched hand. It burns under my gaze. The skin ripples, just when it feels like my hand will combust into flames, petals slowly open out of my palm. The same golden color as the flowers Renall leaves beside my bed each day. The petals flow open into full bloom. I close my hand shut.

I stand to my feet, walking down the step into the living area holding my hand. I approach the couch where Renall remains sitting.

“Renall …”

He rises from the couch and comes to me. I open my hand and the petals slowly open for him, displaying wide and proud.

He blinks, his eyes flick between mine and my hand. He grasps it closed and pulls me to him. “Rardian,” he whispers. “My Rardian.” And without thought, he kisses me quickly on the lips before remembering himself and pulling slightly away.

His eyes remain intensely set on mine, gauging my reaction, ready to apologize or kiss me again. It’s hard to get enough oxygen into my lungs when he watches me like that. That pull in my gut rises to my chest and slowly expands like the flower did in my palm. Warming me from the inside out, the fire pulses through my veins all the way to my heart. Then that traitorous heart hammers in my chest, dispersing that fire to anywhere and everywhere. A fire beneath my skin that begs for release. I reach up with the hand he’s not holding and pull his lips to mine. His body stills, his heart is rapid against the back of my hand still wrapped in his against his chest. My tongue coaxes his for a moment before his body vibrates with a growl and drops my hand. Aggressively, he grabs me closer, taking the back of my head with the one hand controlling our kiss. The fire consumes me, and instinct takes over. I slide my hands up around his neck, my nails digging into his hair. Instinctively, I leap up. He catches me expectantly with his free hand and I wrap my legs around his waist. With me above him, I deepen our kiss, grinding against his hardness. His other hand meets its pair on my ass, and he grips me tighter to him.

In a flash, I’m up against the wall as he groans and bites my bottom lip. The taste of blood rushes into my mouth, waking me from this trance. No, no, this is not what I want. Yeah, I want it, but not when doing so will decide my fate for me. I want to be able to choose Renall for him, and not with a heart that remains full of grief and sadness.

“No,” I whisper, unwrapping my legs. Renall continues kissing down my throat, the heat inside me growing and yearning. “No,” I repeat more strongly, closing my eyes and pushing him away from me with both hands. I imagine being doused with cold water, attempting to tame my inner fire. The one that craves his hands all over me, his mouth, his tongue. Could this be the bond causing this, or has this always been inside me?

I can’t, not now, not yet.

Once I get my breathing under control, I slowly open my eyes. Shock hits me. Before me stands Renall in a block of ice. His eyes closed, his body still in the motion of being pushed by my hands. But around him is a solid block of ice. Oh. My. God. Instead of cooling myself down, I’ve frozen Renall. I must do something. I have to get someone to help. The only person I can think of is Onai.

“I’m going to get help.” I’m unsure if he can hear me, but I tell him anyway. I pause only slightly before the door. I shouldn’t leave alone, but if I don’t, what will happen to Renall?

A moment of indecision before I choose Renall’s safety over mine. I burst down the ledge before slowing my pace, determined not to give any indication that I’m not mated. Act like the rest of the Guardians, move with purpose. I spot Onai on the ground floor talking to some wolves. Two flights of stairs and a few steps and I’ll be there. I can do that for Renall. I’m about to reach the first flight of steps when an arm grabs my bicep from the shadow of a door. I pause, my heart thumping against my chest as I see who’s grasping me.

The onyx-haired wolf, his long scar dissecting his eye as he stares at me. He growls low and only for me. My legs are shaking with fear, but wolves respond to authority. That’s what Renall showed them on the cavern floor, so even though I can barely see straight, I calmly turn and say, “Take your filthy paws off me.”

He leans in close to my ear, I’m expecting him to answer my threat, but he only sniffs my neck.

His eyes meet mine again and widen as his grip falters. I don’t know what he saw in my eyes, but I use his misstep to break out of his grasp and take the stairs two by two. I reach the bottom floor in seconds and call out for Onai.

“Onai, can I speak to you a moment?” I call, keeping my eyes locked on hers as I approach.

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