Page 158 of Born for Lace

"How long will that?—"

"A year."

"And then?”

“Repairs on the truck.”

“And then?”

“A climbing fram?—"

“I don’t want you to get bored!” I finally blurt out and huff petulantly, because he didn’t end my insufferable questioning like a normal person by asking what is wrong.

A smooth smile glides across his masculine face, easy and genuine, but somehow still bears heat and darkness, still silently warns. “How could I?”

“One day,” I shrug, “it’ll just be me. No Spero and no Wren, or the other unnamed babies…”

“Just you?” He shakes his head, displeasure weaving across his brows. “You,with your too-many freckles. If all I had to do was look at all those pink and cream dots, I still wouldn’t be bored.”

I smile-sulk. “You’re not taking me seriously.”

“I take every fucking word out of your mouth seriously, little flower. I don’t want to go anywhere, not without you. Everywhere is disappointing until you see it with your big green eyes full of awe. Awe over silly things like a waterfall or a fish or a fucking wall.” A steel-coloured gaze drowns me. He sighs—soft for me. “I wanted so fucking badly to find you annoying, but instead, I lost focus, and you became my mood.”

“Your mood?”

His jaw pulses. “Listen to me,” he demands. “You make everything better, little flower. For me.” He drops to his knees and grips my hips, huge hands fully circling me. The look in his eyes…Oh, I melt. I cover my heart, or else its eager thumping will crack another rib.

“My sweet little flower.” He stares straight at me. “I want to grow old in that mood. I want todiein that mood. Do you understand what I’m fucking saying? You gave me awe, joy, hope.”

Hope.

Spero.

His words fill my lungs, making it hard to breathe around my emotions.

I wasn’t even meant to meet you…It was meant to be Maple. “Hope,” I say to him without context.

He nods. “It won’t always be easy.Iwon’t always be easy. Inside me is darkness and rage, and without you and the kids, that is all I am.”

My lower lip wobbles, so I suck it between my teeth and chew on it.

“I will provide for you and my children, little flower, and I will protect you until my impenetrable flesh dissolves. I willdiein that mood, if you’ll let me. If things get—” He pauses, and a rare fragility lowers his tone. “Don’t give up on me, little flower. You’re all I have. When things get tough, if I’m dark or lost, use the taser, but don’t—” He bites back the vulnerable word, chewing it in his tight jaw.

Don’t abandon me.He means to say don’t abandon me.

A conversation we had at The Bite bounces between my ears.

‘You’re young, fragile, Common, and you will abandon that Xin De infant when you realise the danger that follows him.’

‘I won’t abandon him. I promise.’

He was talking about himself or relating, perhaps. He thinks I might leave him one day. After the kids leave, of course, I could go to the Common Community, but Lagos will never be accepted. He doesn’t play well with others. He won’t obey commands or rules.

A Shadow is designed to be a loner, too feared and dangerous to join raiders or Common, and used and abused by the ones that designed him.

He has no place.

He is rogue.

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