Page 18 of Fault Line

Oh shit.

If I let myself, I could spend the whole night agonizing about what kind of trouble Elio’s getting himself into. Worrying is futile. Instead, I shift course, attempting to think happy thoughts.

What’s something carefree and weightless? Something that can help me drift off to sleep at a reasonable hour.

Like a light in the darkness, my thoughts unwillingly stray to Holden.

He spent our entire lecture this morning stealing glances at me and glaring in Elio’s direction. He thinks I didn’t notice him, but I’m more perceptive than that.

I try to push him out of my head, but he won’t relent. His golden hair. That devilish grin. The sound of the rasp in his voice when I first stumbled into his bedroom. He’s quickly invading my every thought.

I envision his lips forming those teasing words: “This thing we have going on ... It’s a bit like foreplay, no?”

In reality, I’m still alone in my bed. But in my mind, I’m in his car again.

It’s Friday night. I can feel the sharp sting of his hand on my skin. The way he leaned over me, reaching across my lap to stop me from leaving. But instead of letting me go this time, his hand slips onto the curve of my thigh, teasing the hemline of my skirt.

Oh, hell no.No, no, no.

Lying in bed, I toss and turn, trying to will my thoughts away. But they keep coming back, like waves crashing on the shore, relentless and persistent. Tonight, like most nights, they seem to have a mind of their own.

In my head, Holden leans closer, his lips making contact with my neck, sending shivers down my spine. His warm breath tickles my skin, and the rough pads of his fingertips slowly inch their way beneath my skirt.

My heartbeat quickens, and a flush of scorching heat creeps over my entire body. I can almost feel the warmth of his hands, the strength of his arms encircling me, drawing me closer.

As he whispers my name into the cramped space between us, I clamp my eyes shut—and my thighs—desperately grasping for some semblance of control over my wandering mind. But my efforts are futile.

So eventually, I relent, allowing myself to surrender to the unwelcome sensations. To succumb to the dirty daydream and finally fall into a blissful sleep.

* * *

I wakeup hours later in a cold sweat, my heart pounding so hard I can feel it in my ears. I take a deep breath and attempt to calm myself down, but it’s no use. That fever dream fantasy was too intense, too lifelike, and now I’m left with an empty ache in the pit of my stomach.

I shake my head, trying to clear the disturbing thoughts, but they keep creeping back in. I can still feel the illusion, thick and heavy in my head. The warmth of Holden’s body against mine, the way his lips felt on my skin.

The physical aversion I’m feeling now, in the light of a new day, is too much for me to handle. I sit up in bed and rub my eyes, hoping to scrub away the feeling.

The first thing I do is check my email on my phone. Maybe if I distract myself with something else, I can drive the nausea away. But as I scroll through my inbox, I come across a message that makes my heart skip.

It’s from the panel members—the message that I’ve been waiting for for the past four days. I sit up straighter in my bed, kicking my duvet off my body as I comb through it at light speed.

From:[email protected]

To:[email protected]

Subject:Dissertation Proposals

Miss Kaia Karras,

We are pleased to inform you that your proposal has been selected as one of the top submissions for this year. We would like to extend our congratulations to you and invite you to select your top three choices for your dissertation advisor. In the event that your first selection is unavailable, we will attempt to match you with your remaining choices.

The Biomedical Engineering Department, Coastal University

A triumphant smile spreads across my face as I read through the message for the second time. This is exactly what I needed to hear this morning.

I quickly respond, providing Dr. Khatri’s name—silently praying that she’s available to work with me—and thanking them for the opportunity.

Since dawn is barely breaking, I spend longer than normal completing my morning routine. Reset and refreshed, I slowly make my way to campus, my mind buzzing with anticipation for the day ahead.

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