Page 39 of Fault Line

The rush of focus and productivity was addicting, and I couldn’t resist the temptation.

And then, there was the inevitable crash. The lowest lows, where my brain could completely shut off for once. In the end, it was a crutch. A mistake. Something I wish I would’ve never done.

And Elio was the one who helped me quit.

Now, I realize with a sinking feeling that I may have missed the signs. That I should’ve been paying more attention, looking for any red flags that my best friend might be using again. But instead, I’ve been so caught up in my own struggles that I’ve let him down.

My tears fall, hot and heavy, as I recognize the gravity of the situation. If Holden’s right, if Elio’s truly slipped up, then I’ve been oblivious to it this whole time.

A true fucking failure.

14

HOLDEN

I watchin horror as Kaia’s eyes well up with tears, overflowing and dripping onto the brick pathway beneath our feet.

Well, shit.

Shit, shit, shit. I feel like the biggest asshole on the planet.

My heart sinks as I realize that I’ve broken through her impenetrable armor. The vulnerability in her eyes is striking, and now that I think about it, I’ve never actually seen Kaia cry genuine tears before. She’s usually so full of fire, so ready to fight.

“Hey, hey, hey,” I rush out, stepping closer. “Don’t cry. I’m sorry,” I say, my voice low and sincere. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

She sniffs, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’m fine. I just . . . I’m worried that what you said might be true. And I feel like an awful friend for not noticing.”

“Hey, don’t spiral,” I say, swiping the mascara off her cheek with my thumb. “You’re a great friend. I was just being a dick.”

“But what if you’re right?” She twists a strand of thick hair between her fingers, tugging at it in a way that looks almost painful. “What if I’ve missed the signs? I’ve been so wrapped up in my own stuff lately that I haven’t been paying as much attention as I should’ve.”

I can sense her pain, her worry, her guilt, and it all weighs heavy on my chest. “Kaia, look at me,” I say, tilting her chin up with my finger. “You’re an incredible fucking friend to Elio. And even if he’s going through something right now, it’s not your fault. Okay?”

“Yeah,” she mumbles, eyes downcast.

“Tell me you know it’s not your fault.” I don’t want her to blame herself for something that might not even be true. And I sure as hell don’t want to see her cry anymore, especially not when I’m the cause of it. “It’s not your fault,” I repeat firmly. “You can’t control what Elio does or doesn’t do. If he’s using again, it’s not your responsibility to fix him.”

She nods slowly, and some of the tension visibly leaves her body. I wrap my fingers around her upper arm, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Look, I never should’ve said anything,” I continue, practically begging her to smile again. “You’re right. It’s none of my business. I’m just an asshole who can’t leave things well enough alone.”

She grins despite herself. “Youarean asshole, aren’t you?”

“See, we agree on something for once.”

“We agreed on a lot of things Saturday night,” she says, surprising the hell out of me.

My brows shoot up. “Karras, was that an innuendo?”

She shrugs, and some of that familiar fire returns to her hazel eyes. “Figured it was my turn.”

“Yeah, well, it was a good fucking night.” My lip quirks. “Wasn’t it?”

“Mhm,” she murmurs her agreement, and then her expression shifts. “But we probably shouldn’t keep bringing it up, especially because it was just a onetime thing.”

“Right, one time. Unless . . .” I trail off, wondering if I should push my luck.

Since I left her apartment yesterday morning, I’ve been replaying the sounds she made inside my head. Those tiny whimpers, those long, drawn-out moans, it’s all been swirling around in there like a never-ending record. I had to fuck my fist twice in the shower this morning just to calm myself down.

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