Page 94 of Fault Line

I should’ve just gone to his fucking game last night, and then maybe none of this would’ve ever happened. I could’ve controlled myself for a little while longer, just until I was able to muster up the courage to open up to him.

But most of all, I wish could’ve just been the person he needed right from the start.

Somehow, I manage to make it through the rest of the day without completely falling apart. But by the time the moon hangs in the sky, I’m compelled to send him a text. My hands shake as I type out the words, pulse racing in my throat.

Kaia

hey, just wanted to let you know that I’m ready to talk whenever you are. I want to let you in, and I want you to know I’m here for you too

I hold my breath as I wait for his reply, my nerves on edge. After what feels like forever, my phone buzzes with a new message, and I’m torn between relief and dread as I read his response.

Holden

I appreciate that. I think it would be best if we take the week just to let things settle, and then we can talk

I let out a slow exhale, forcing myself to calm the fuck down. It’s not the response I was hoping for, but it’s better than nothing. At least he’s willing to talk eventually, and that gives me the tiniest shred of hope.

Kaia

I understand, talk later. miss you <3

Holden

me too

* * *

As the week progresses,I obsess over what’s happening with Holden. I wish I knew what was going on with him and his family, what was causing him so much pain. But I also understand that he needs space, and I respect that.

He sure as hell gave me mine when I needed him to.

Despite my growing concern for him, I know I need to keep moving forward. So, with a heavy heart, I focus on securing those letters of recommendation. They’re the final pieces I need for my applications, and the thought of having everything complete—and having Holden by my side again—is a bittersweet dream.

The two of us barely speak during the school week, and I feel his absence like a physical weight. We still share classes, but our once easy banter—and all of our stolen glances—have been erased. I try to concentrate on my studies, but my thoughts are consumed with how much I miss him.

How much I’ve grown to need him by my side.

As the week draws to a close, I’m constantly thinking about how to mend our relationship. My heart aches with the desire to be there for him, to support him through whatever he’s dealing with.

But I also know I need to be patient.

On Friday morning, I receive another text from him, and it sends my brain into overdrive.

Holden

hey baby, just wanted to let you know I’ll be out of town for another away game this weekend. but I’ll be back on sunday, and we can talk then

The familiar endearment warms me up, offering another small glimmer of hope. Now, I’m determined to seize the opportunity he’s given me. To find a way to show him how much I truly do care.

I want to be there for him this weekend, to cheer him on from the sidelines and prove that I’m committed to showing my support, even if it comes a little too late.

But to make this happen, I’ll need some help, and that means reaching out to Lizzie. Our relationship has been strained lately, to say the least, with her acting so distant and cold. Not only has she been weird about Holden staying the night, but she intentionally let him walk into my room without any warning.

The whole situation was definitely my fault, I’ll admit that, but she didn’t need to contribute to it either. Still, she’s my only connection to Rai, who I’m counting on to help me now.

Squaring my shoulders, I shoot off a text, asking her for Rai’s number. To my surprise, she responds almost immediately. No questions asked. I thank her, relieved that she’s willing to help me out despite our recent tensions.

With Rai’s number in hand, I work up the courage to contact him. He’s undoubtedly warm and receptive, even going so far as to sneak a jersey for me to wear—Becker #16 flashing across the back in big, bold letters.

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