Page 104 of The Trade

“Hey!” Mica practically leaps up from his booth, his arms outstretched. I slide into the opposite seat, my body reflexively pulling away from his attempt at a comforting hug.

“Hi” is all I manage to muster.

His apology is quick, earnest. “I’m a dipshit and an asshole. What can I do to fix this?”

I sigh, my fingers drumming an anxious rhythm against my thigh. “Why’d you have to go there? Especially when I begged you not to?”

“I know I fucked up. The problem is ... I wasn’t even making a conscious decision to ignore your wishes. I’m not trying to make excuses, but it just fucking happened.”

“How does that just happen? You tripped and fell into her bed?”

“That’s not what I mean. Look, there was some ... tension the first time I came to visit you. I know you didn’t see it, but you left us alone together a handful of times.”

“What?” I scoff incredulously. “So, during those five or ten minutes, you just had to fight the urge to jump each other’s bones? Is that what you’re trying to say?”

“Not exactly.” His answer is vague, convoluted. “I don’t know, sis. Have you ever felt this strong attraction to someone? Like fuck, you don’t know where it comes from, but ... for some reason, you just want that person.”

My body reacts before I can stop it, a nervous shift in my seat at his question. “Uh—”

But he’s quick to backpedal, his face crumpling. “Fuck, wait. Please don’t answer that.”

“So, you’re saying you want to ... be with Shan?”

“No.” He adamantly shakes his head. “It was an intense physical attraction, but I never should have acted on it. Not when I knew it could affect our relationship.”

“But you did it anyway.”

“Yeah, I did,” he concedes. “It was a mistake. I won’t make the same one twice.”

“Tell me that you didn’t make any promises to Shan. If you hurt her, I’m not forgiving you so easily.”

He shakes his head, a snort escaping him. “I didn’t make any promises. Actually, there wasn’t much ... talking between us at all.”

“Oh, ew.” The thought of them together elicits another eye roll. “You know, I’m still really mad at you.”

“I know,” he says simply. “And Lil, I’m sorry about the rent comment. That was uncalled for.”

“Yeah, it was. But I probably shouldn’t have screamed in your face like that either.”

He shrugs as if it was nothing. “I deserved it.”

While his comment truly hurt my feelings, I suppose I could’ve held my tongue. We have a few unspoken rules between us, one of them being to never swear at each other or resort to hurtful phrases like “fuck you” and “I hate you.”

But last night, Mica seemed to believe that breaking that rule was warranted, so I’ll let it slide this time.

“True.” I smirk, turning to the menu. “Just so you know, I’m ordering two dinners tonight. Maybe a lobster appetizer. Oh, and dessert. I’m definitely getting dessert.”

He chuckles, relief washing over his face. “Get whatever you want. I doubt two dinners make up for what I did.”

“Damn right, it doesn’t,” I confirm with a harsh laugh. “You’re gonna be groveling for years, pal. Years.”

“If that’s what it takes.”

* * *

As Mica’splane takes off, cool relief washes over me. Although we didn’t part on an outright positive note, things are decidedly better than where we started.

Mica’s my brother, my partner-in-crime, my confidant, and I love him fiercely. But that doesn’t erase the fact that he betrayed me. While love might help pave a path to forgiveness, it isn’t an instant cure for the raw wounds he inflicted.

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