A range of emotions passes over her face as she processes my words. “Are you serious?”
“Yes,” I say, voice small. “It’s also why Cam invited you.”
She stares at me in shock for a moment before whispering a breathless “Wow. So, they planned to just swap us for some random girls?”
“No, Shan,” I shake my head, the truth tasting bitter on my tongue. “They planned to swap us for each other.”
“Oh my God, Jade. Are you saying West wanted—”
“Yes, he was hoping he might get to spend the night with you,” I awkwardly admit, unable to keep the tension from my voice. “But he told me that he called the whole thing off a long time ago. Actually, he ended things the night of the UFC fight. Before we were ever together.”
A stunned whisper leaves her lips. “Damn. That’s still ... terrible. Every year, they just trade girls around like they’re objects. That’s so messed up.”
“And West kept it from me until I practically begged him for the truth. The whole team was acting so fucking strange that night. Did you not pick up on it?”
“Not really.” Her shoulders lift in a noncommittal shrug, a soft frown pulling at her lips. “I mean, I already know most of those guys. I guess I just thought they were being ...friendly.”
“Yeah, I guess I can see that.”
“I’m so sorry you found out like this, though. West should’ve been up-front with you before things got serious.”
A sad smile tugs at the corners of my mouth. “That’s one of my biggest issues. I just ...I thought my West was different. Knowing he chose to participate in all that bullshit just makes me see him in a different light.”
She leans forward on the bed, patting my hand in a gentle, comforting touch. “Boys can be so thoughtless.”
A reluctant chuckle escapes me. “You’re telling me.”
“I’m really sorry he hurt you. And I’m sorry that I somehow became tangled up in all this.” She ducks her head, gaze dropping to our hands. “I can’t even begin to imagine how complicated this makes things for you.”
“Things are definitely a mess,” I say. “But none of this is your fault. The blame lies solely with West.”
“You mentioned you kissed him last night?”
“Yeah, another lapse in judgment.”
She appraises me, her gaze thoughtful. “You don’t think you’d ever want to try to work things out?”
“No, well ... I don’t know,” I correct myself. With a sigh, I glance back at her. “Could you forgive your boyfriend if he did something like this?”
“That’s not my call to make,” she says softly. “You have every right to feel hurt and betrayed. If you don’t think this is something you can forgive, then you don’t have to.”
“But before all of this, I was truly falling for him. Now, every time I think about him, about us, I feel torn. I want to be with him, but at the same time, I can’t stand the sight of him.”
“You’re just not ready to let him go.”
“Not yet.” I press my lips together, biting the inside of my cheek. “I guess I’m waiting to see if he can somehow earn my forgiveness. If he sticks around once I’m done taking my space. Or if he just ... lets it fade away.”
“If he really cares, he won’t let you go.”
I toss myself back on her bed with a heavy sigh. “Maybe.”
“Thank you for telling me.” She gives me a gentle, genuine smile. “It means a lot that you could confide in me after everything.”
I perch up onto my elbows. “How about we ... I don’t know, stay up and binge on junk food together?”
The laugh that escapes her is a warm, familiar sound, and I realize just how much I’ve missed this in the last couple weeks. “I thought you’d never ask.”
* * *