Page 119 of The Trade

His gaze is fixed on me, eyes filled with a dizzying blend of confusion and hope. My heart races, adrenaline surging through my veins. I draw in a deep, shuddering breath, steeling myself for what I need to say.

“I think we should stay broken up.”

35

WEST

My throat constricts,a harsh sensation running through me as I swallow down Jade’s rejection. After every ounce of hope, every desperate apology and explanation, she still isn’t ready to try again.

“You can’t forgive me,” I say, my voice a dejected whisper. The sting of defeat claws at me, lacing each word.

“That’s not the reason,” she says. Her voice is soft, almost comforting, in stark contrast to the situation. “I do forgive you, honestly. I see the growth in you since we first met.”

“So, you trust me, you miss me, and you forgive me,” I say, my confusion seeping into my voice. “Yet, you don’t want to be with me?”

“It’s not as simple as that.” She leans forward, her warm palm stilling my nervously bouncing knee. “It’s just—I don’t think the timing is right for us.”

“The timing,” I echo, brows knitting together. My heart thrums in my chest as I process her words, each one a sharp jab to my senses.

“I’m leaving for the summer.” She takes a deep, calming breath, her eyes dropping to her own fingers on my knee. “I’ll be states away, and you’ll be here working your ass off at camp. It doesn’t make sense for us to jump back into this relationship. Think about it.”

“I have been thinking about it,” I say, a bitter chuckle escaping me as I run a frustrated hand through my hair. “I’ve been thinking about it every goddamn day for the past few weeks. I hear what you’re saying ... but Jade, I really don’t give a shit about the timing.”

“If we don’t have a solid foundation now, then it doesn’t make sense for us to try and work things out from a distance. I don’t want us to just crumble again.”

My hand snakes out, fingers finding hers. I trace the outline of her wrist, each stroke a silent promise. “I won’t let that happen.”

“You can’t know that for sure.”

“So, what?” My spine stiffens, the whiplash of emotions causing my muscles to coil. “You want to be together, but you just don’t think the timing’s right? I’ll be honest with you; this seems like a cop-out.”

“It’s not,” she says. “I was already worried about the summer, and now we’ve been broken up for weeks. How can we just come back from all that and then leave each other right away?”

“Because it’s fucking worth it.” I gently tip her chin, my thumb brushing against her soft skin. “Because I’ll be thinking about you every day, regardless of whether or not we’re actually together.”

“And you don’t think that’s a problem?” She turns her head, my hand falling away from her face. “I don’t want to make this summer any more difficult for you. For either of us. Don’t we both deserve a summer free of drama?”

“Drama?” A muscle in my jaw twitches, my teeth grinding together. “That’s what this is to you?”

“It’s not ... you’re misunderstanding me.” She stares at me, sincerity brimming in her eyes. “I’m talking about the insecurity, the jealousy, all the people who want to come between us. You know, like Cassidy and Miller.”

“And Garrett?” I add, bitterness seeping through.

“Garrett’s a complete nonissue.”

“Then so are Cass and Miller,” I insist, my voice laced with conviction. “Screw them. I’ve had absolutely nothing to do with that girl since last term. Miller is an asshole, but he’s not even my friend.”

“Then you should probably tell him you’re not down for threesomes.”

My muscles tense, gaze narrowing. “The fuck did he say to you?”

“He—no, you know what? It really doesn’t matter.” She shakes her head, waving it away. “I shouldn’t have even brought that up.”

“He better not have put his hands on you tonight. I don’t know what the hell he’s thinking, but—”

“See?” she cuts me off, flustered. “This is exactly what I mean, Theo. I don’t want you to have to worry about this kind of stuff all summer long. Not when you should be focusing on making your dreams come true.”

“I can focus on both,” I plead, the denial fogging my brain as her words fully register.

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