PROLOGUE
KAI
I had that dream again.
The one that fucking haunted my unconsciousness at night and my fucking thoughts during the daytime.
The dream that wouldn’t—couldn’t—leave me alone, and there was fuck all I could do about it.
The image blurred in and out of focus. My eyes moved about, trying to find a focal point I could attach to. To keep me grounded on this earth, to keep me staying in the present and nowhere else.
“K-Kai.”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I wanted to call his name so fucking bad. I wanted to beg him to stay here with me and not leave.
I was born in misery, and misery is how I go.
Outside the dream, I was aware of my fist clenching around the bedsheets.
I tried to go to him.
I really did, but fuck me, it was so hard. Too hard.
Stay.
“Kai,” he whispered. I heard his voice, loud and clear.
Stay.
Blood seeped out onto the cold, dirty concrete ground beneath us. I had long lost the ability to feel the piercing pain of the gunshot. What was left was a bone-aching chill I didn’t know how to get rid of.
Fuck, I was just so cold.
So cold.
“Kai.”
“Jude.”
My mouth formed around the word, my brain screaming at me as I said it, but no sound came out.
Stay.
He didn’t.
1
GEMMA
My nails duginto the skin of my palms as the voices in the kitchen rang in and out.
Breathe in, breathe out.
I was trying. I really was. But no matter how many times I repeated the mantra or how many times my body did as I willed it to, it felt like there wasn’t enough air in the room.
I was… suffocating slowly.
I was dying slowly.