Page 110 of Psycho

I had never gotten naked with the him. Still, there had been some heavy make-out sessions, some heavy petting here and there, and I could keep a sort of detachment from him and the entire situation.

I thought I could do that with Micah.

I was with Garrett because he made me feel not so lonely, and I thought I could use Micah the same way. Not for loneliness but to survive him. And if I was able to get off from that… well, I wasn’t going to complain.

If he was fond of me, then he wouldn’t hurt me. But I never accounted for my own feelings in the matter, and the more he kissed me, touched me… held me, the harder it was to hold on to any sense of detachment.

Everything had completely backfired, and I ended up feeling like the vulnerable one out of the two of us.

I blinked and slowly pulled away from his arms, climbing out of the bed.

I quickly got ready for my morning and knew I should probably dress for school, but the thought of being around everyone when I felt so… raw, held no appeal.

Ever since I started high school, I had only missed a handful of days, and this year, I had missed no days, but for the first time, I really wanted to just stay home and wallow in self-pity and self-disgust.

I walked to the kitchen and made myself a bowl of cereal.

Micah came out when I was nearly done with my breakfast, already up and dressed for his day.

I ignored him, though I did catch a glimpse of his tight-fitted dark grey shirt, which perfectly showed off his huge muscular frame.

I tried not to be affected by it.

He walked over to me and looked down at my finished bowl of cereal, with a few flakes floating on top of the milk.

He took it and brought the bowl to the sink, giving it a quick rinse before he turned to me, his eyes questioning.

“Aren’t you going to get ready for school?”

I scowled at him, and without saying a word, got off the chair and walked to the bedroom.

He caught up to me just as I was about to close the door on him.

I looked up and met his eyes, the intensity of it doing a weird thing to my insides, making my stomach feel like it was flip-flopping around.

He wouldn’t let me close the door.

My scowl deepened.

One eyebrow rose, and after a losing fight of tug and war on the door with him, I gave up. I let go and flopped over on the bed.

I could feel Micah standing there, looking at me.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Leave me alone,” I said, my voice muffled from the bedsheets.

He heard me though, because he said, “Why?”

I didn’t answer him.

I felt the bed dip when he sat on the edge beside me.

I didn’t bother looking up at him. I wished he would just do what he did yesterday morning and leave, let me be alone for the day so I could sort out all these feelings I had when it came to him.

So that I wouldn’t feel so disadvantaged.

He placed his hand on my shoulder. I pulled away from him and looked up. “Just leave me alone.”

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